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A lady walks into a pet shop. She sees a beautiful parrot, priced at $100. "Why so cheap?" she asks the shopkeeper.

"Well," replies the shopkeeper, "this parrot has a very vulgar vocabulary. He used to live at the brothel that was just shut down."

The woman decides she wants the parrot anyway, so she arranges to have it delivered to her home the next day.

The parrot arrives, looks around the living room, looks at the woman, and says "New house, new madam!" The woman is at first offended, but then, considering the parrot's background, she laughs it off.

The woman's two teenage daughters walk into the living room. The parrot looks at them, and says "New house, new madam, new girls!" Again, with due consideration to the parrot's background, the woman and her daughters laugh it off.

The woman's husband, Alex, arrives home from work, and walks into the living room. The parrot looks at him, and says "Hi, Alex!"

My favorite parrot joke is a great one in that you wait to tell it during some evening then at the end of the night when the time is right its a killer punchline to repeat.
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Here it goes.

A man bought a beautiful German Sheppard pup at a local pet high end pet store. And since his purchase he would return to the store weekly to get his Eukanuba brand dog food.

As he walks in one week he notices a Parrot on a perch with a little chain fastened to his leg to keep it from flying off.

He walks by and reaches down to get a bag of food for his dog...and he hears "Hey....A$$hole."

Surprised he looks around. Thinking it was a slip of the tongue of someone else he reaches for the dog food again and hears "Hey A$$$$$hooool!"

Angered he gets his dog food and then leaves. The following week he is back as usual and the parrot does it again. Now furious he goes to the store owner and complains. "I am a good cutomer who bought a very expensive dog from you and I return faithfully to get dog food here only to be insulted by a vulgar Parrot with a filthy mouth. If you want my business it had better change"

With that, the store owner apologized several times, gave him a free weeks worth of dog food and pleaded with him to stay on as a customer.

Well as you have guessed he returned the next week for dog food. There was the Parrot on its perch. He kept steely eyed contact with the bird until passing it. He knelt down to get the dog food and heard "Hey you...." the man stood up just waiting to hear the rest and get the store owner. The Parrot finished "......you know!"

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I cried I was laughing so hard when I heard this joke. But it was even funnier when later in the evening the guy telling it yelled out loud to a friend of ours and said "Hey Steve...." (everyone gets quiet when a name is yelled out) .....you know....)

everyone roared...including Steve!