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The shocking secret of 'The Da Vinci Code': It stinks
St. Paul Pioneer Press ^ | May 21, 2006 | DOMINIC P. PAPATOLA

Posted on 05/23/2006 9:42:06 AM PDT by Caleb1411

Lost in all the brouhaha about "The Da Vinci Code" is a simple observation that seems to have gotten lost with all the protests and condemnations and threats of boycotts.

It's just not very good.

I'm a latecomer to this whole kerfuffle. Blissfully oblivious to the controversy, I didn't even know what the book was about until a couple of weeks ago, when I picked it up to kill some time on a long airplane flight. I wasn't more than 20 pages into Dan Brown's thriller when I realized what a woofer it was going to be.

Readable? You betcha. I cranked through almost the whole thing on a flight to San Francisco and back again. Reading "The Da Vinci Code" is like eating popcorn: You keep reaching into the bowl, hardly aware of what you're doing, and suddenly, you're through.

But good? Hardly. With 105 chapters — each about the length of a potty break — and sentence structures not too far removed from "See Dick run," the book seems to be written at about a sixth-grade readability level. The plot advances in a series of enough improbable "a-ha!" moments to burn through a couple of grosses of light bulbs. And the galloping, thinly strung conspiracy theory makes your typical Kennedy assassination theorist look scholarly by comparison.

To call the thing a piffle is to insult piffles.

The film breathlessly packs the book's 450 pages into about 2½ hours. Tom Hanks is a much more skeptical protagonist than you'll find in the book, and the cinematic version soft-pedals the whole church-as-thug idea, assigning most of the malevolent deeds to a rogue, beanie-bedecked "shadow council" of clerics instead of Mother Church herself. Still, the movie is, if anything, more laughably strung together than the book.

Does it offend? The book irked plenty of people — just take a peek on the Internet. And protests broke out around the world before the first frame of the film was shown to the public.

But as a practicing Catholic, I find the idea of corrupt churchmen and Holy Grails far less troubling than the insinuation that any person with any cartilage whatsoever in their spiritual spine would find "The Da Vinci Code" the least bit threatening to their faith.

Faith is the acceptance of things we can't see, after all, and the idea that someone would suddenly believe that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married just because "Da Vinci" actor Ian McKellen said so suggests a faith that probably wasn't all that strong to begin with.

But linking art and faith is a tricky thing. If you believe in the power of "The Passion of the Christ" to kindle passions in the hearts of the reverent, then I suppose you also have to believe in the power of "The Da Vinci Code" to make the faithful falter.

Art has a unique power to open eyes, to foster conversation and critical thinking, and it's no secret that that provocative power represents a threat to organizations that rely on unquestioning obedience to authority.

Which, I suppose, puts me in the position of defending "The Da Vinci Code." And I don't really want to do that: I mean, I was so embarrassed to be reading the book in public that I peeled off the dust jacket so I could pretend to be perusing, say, Proust.

I'd just feel a lot better if the art that provoked us was as rigorous and well made and profound as the questions it tries to ask. Neither the best-selling novel nor the movie rises to anywhere near that level. They're just pop-culture schlock.

Is Dan Brown responsible? Well, no. He's a novelist, not a prophet. He just wrote the book — it's the millions who bought "The Da Vinci Code" who turned it into the kind of a best-seller that would inevitably be spun off as a movie. With its bite-sized portions and its pretensions to intellectualism, it's the perfect, easy-to-settle-for menu item in our fast-food nation.

And so, maybe it's not a crisis of faith we should be worried about. Maybe it's a crisis of taste.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: crapauthorcrapbook; davincicode; hysteriaoveramovie; piffle; sucksjustlikethebook
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To: Caleb1411

I enjoyed the book for the pure entertainment of it. That being said, the movie was flat out bad. It held none of the same entertainment value that the book had (which is always the case).


21 posted on 05/23/2006 10:04:03 AM PDT by returnofthemack
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To: Caleb1411
Almost unfair, it is. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Like hunting for clams on the beach with a shotgun.

22 posted on 05/23/2006 10:04:40 AM PDT by Alex Murphy (Colossians 4:6)
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To: Froufrou
Yeah, I was one of those. They kept telling me that the book must be good because of the number of copies sold.

I haven't read DVC. But I did read Deception Point and part of Angels and Demons. Deception Point is his finest work, and it's mediocre at best. Angels and Demons was so bad that I quit reading it after about 100 pages. And I never, ever, quit reading a book unless it's truly horrible. Angels and Demons took its place next to Battlefield Earth as one of the worst books ever. In short, Dan Brown just ain't a very good author.
23 posted on 05/23/2006 10:05:01 AM PDT by JamesP81
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To: Caleb1411

What the heck is a "kerfuffle"?


24 posted on 05/23/2006 10:06:52 AM PDT by diamond6 (Everyone who is for abortion have been born. Ronald Reagan)
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To: Froufrou
sad that Hanks finally is in a flop, though...

You must have missed "The Terminal." Obviously most everyone else did.

25 posted on 05/23/2006 10:07:11 AM PDT by dfwgator (Florida Gators - 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Champions)
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To: Caleb1411
He was attending to works with greater literary heft.

Which apparently never included a newspaper.

26 posted on 05/23/2006 10:07:38 AM PDT by Last Dakotan
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To: Caleb1411
To call the thing a piffle is to insult piffles.

Mr. Papatola, where ever you are, you owe me a new keyboard.

27 posted on 05/23/2006 10:09:16 AM PDT by Redcloak (Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.)
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To: Caleb1411

I heard they are already casting the sequel.


28 posted on 05/23/2006 10:11:49 AM PDT by Arizona Carolyn
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To: Caleb1411

"IT STINKS!" They don't show re-runs of "The Critic" often enough!


29 posted on 05/23/2006 10:11:58 AM PDT by divine_moment_of_facts ("Liberals see what they believe... Conservatives believe what they see")
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To: Aquinasfan
Unfortunately, 1/3 of the Brits or Canadians (I forget which) who've read the book believe it to be historically accurate.

Doesn't shed a good light on the level of their intellect, does it?

30 posted on 05/23/2006 10:18:42 AM PDT by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: NavyCanDo
Imagine the bomb this movie could have been if not for the attention brought to it by the public outcry to boycott it. The banned in Boston effect was in play.

I doubt that public criticism had much to do with it. Whether or not WE think the Da Vinci Code is stupid fluff and shouldn't be taken seriously, hundreds of thousands of people do take it seriously. It's sold more than 40 million copies in hardcover and I can tell you from experience in my classes that it is taken very, very seriously by tons of college students, especially female college students. This movie was a blockbuster waiting to happen, as the Left Behind books might also have been had they received the hype, production values and talent behind the Da Vinci movie. True, the book sucks. It was still very popular-- nobody should be surprised that a movie based on it is very popular as well.

31 posted on 05/23/2006 10:20:33 AM PDT by mjolnir ("All great change in America begins at the dinner table.")
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To: JamesP81

You had me slapping my knees, I was laughing so hard.

Still, you made if further through Angels and Demons that did I! :p


32 posted on 05/23/2006 10:22:56 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: dfwgator

Actually, I did see The Terminal. Mrs. Douglas stank in that. Reeked. There was no chemistry there. None.


33 posted on 05/23/2006 10:35:13 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: mjolnir
Those who have a deep faith should have nothing to worry about as they can easily glean the "fluff" from the truth. I found some interesting statistics from the Barna Group's website (read the Da Vinci Code story on the homepage here).
34 posted on 05/23/2006 10:42:15 AM PDT by jettester (I got paid to break 'em - not fly 'em)
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To: diamond6
What the heck is a "kerfuffle"?

A big commotion.

35 posted on 05/23/2006 10:42:57 AM PDT by Caleb1411 ("These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." G. K. C)
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To: Last Dakotan
Which apparently never included a newspaper.

Which would be indefensible since he writes for the newspaper.

36 posted on 05/23/2006 10:44:37 AM PDT by Caleb1411 ("These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." G. K. C)
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To: Arizona Carolyn
I heard they are already casting the sequel.

Fear and loathing in FreeRepublicville.

37 posted on 05/23/2006 10:49:20 AM PDT by Caleb1411 ("These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." G. K. C)
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To: Froufrou
sad that Hanks finally is in a flop, though

"The Terminal" was also a flop, IMHO. I'm not a fan of Ron Howard's movies, so the fact that this one is getting panned isn't particularly surprising to me - I thought "A Beautiful Mind" was vastly over-rated and that was apparently Howard's best work.
38 posted on 05/23/2006 10:50:41 AM PDT by AnotherUnixGeek
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To: NavyCanDo
Imagine the bomb this movie could have been if not for the attention brought to it by the public outcry to boycott it. The banned in Boston effect was in play.

Yeah, this is faddish pap. It will be forgotten very shortly....old news.....languishing at $5.99 in the DVD store bargain bin along with Mars Attacks!. The controversy has attracted a lot of people who have never read the book to go see it. But it's a bad movie.

Just as "The Last Temptation of Christ" had no lasting social impact whatsoever, despite the controversy, this one won't either. The only thing the controversy has done is earn the author and creators a few more bucks over the next few weeks. The ultimate outcome, other than the extra bucks, is the same.....$5.99 in the bargain bin.
39 posted on 05/23/2006 10:51:55 AM PDT by Arkinsaw
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To: BenLurkin
The problem is that non-Christians are lapping up the outrageous lies concerning the history of the church and the divinity of Christ.

Non-Christians can read the word "fiction" printed on the spine of the book as easily as Christians. And non-Christians presumably don't believe in the divinity of Christ anyway.
40 posted on 05/23/2006 10:53:41 AM PDT by AnotherUnixGeek
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