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More Women Not Waiting For Mr. Right
CBS2CHICAGO ^ | 18 May 2006 | CBS2CHICAGO

Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist

(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.

As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.

The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.

Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.

"It was like a time bomb," April said.

"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.

Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.

This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.

"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.

The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.

"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.

"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.

Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.

Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.

While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.

Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.

"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.

"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.

Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.

"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.

Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.

Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.

"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.

Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.

"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.

Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.

Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.

"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.

April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.

"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.

Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.

Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.

"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.

April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.

All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.

It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: birthrate; bravenewworld; children; freeriders; genderwars; harpyreproduction; ivf; marriage; moralabsolutes; paternity; spermbank; swirlingdowndrain
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist; No Blue States
The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period.

Well, hopefully the parents will put the child first, and the "new" Dad won't be defensive and will rather try and be a unifying force. Children of divorce have it particularly difficult, with issues of trust and anger they have trouble resolving (as they often don't even recognize them). A strong man who takes his place as the head of the family can really pull a family together. Of course his wife must help and they have to work together and be honest and talk to each other. But that is true of any marriage. Kids need a mother and a father and I applaud any man who takes on the challenge of marrying a woman who already has kids. It's very tough sometimes. But I can tell you from experience I'm sure glad my second husband wasn't put off by my 2 children. They've turned out quite well, and I can thank him for a good bit of that.
61 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:41 PM PDT by visualops (America... www.visualops.com ...is not just a job site.)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting
and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open
or plan to be open with their children
.


I suspect they'll never be this honest a few years from now:
"Well son, the truth is that I'm a shrewish man-hater. That's why I didn't
find a husband to help me create a family. I hope that knowing this doesn't
make for trouble in your current gender-identity psycho-therapy sessions."
62 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:46 PM PDT by VOA
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To: freedumb2003

ROFL


63 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:51 PM PDT by No Blue States
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To: JamesP81
I really am screwed now (pun not intended). Perhaps lifelong singlehood isn't as bad as it sounds.

Tell ya what. In exchange for half of the net worth of our community property, you can have my wife. :-)

64 posted on 05/21/2006 12:34:31 PM PDT by Polybius
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To: Tall_Texan

LOL!


65 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:02 PM PDT by WV Mountain Mama (In West Virginia, even the road less traveled is paved, courtesy of Byrd.)
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To: Smokin' Joe

Darn, I could have bought a PHD.


66 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:03 PM PDT by No Blue States
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To: marajade
Its better than just sleeping with anyone you want without protection and producing children without wanting them.

Maybe.

But it would be better for everyone concerned if they simply just buy a quality dildo and spare the rest of us their self-righteousness!

67 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:26 PM PDT by Gritty (For campus feminists, masturbation is just another excuse to seek university funding-Mike Adams)
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To: MIchaelTArchangel

You can become Miss right all you want and if there are fewer and fewer quality men willing to commit, this situation is going to get worse, no matter how Miss Right one has become.


68 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:28 PM PDT by TAdams8591
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To: No Blue States
Mow a lawn you lazy POS.


I thought that's one of those jobs Americans won't do. Of course with the allure of sperm bank donating, who would want to? Maybe he could mow the lawn after donating.
69 posted on 05/21/2006 12:36:19 PM PDT by rottndog (WOOF!!!!)
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To: Alexander Rubin; An American In Dairyland; Antoninus; Aquinasfan; BIRDS; BlackElk; BlessedBeGod; ...
MORAL ABSOLUTES PING.

DISCUSSION ABOUT:

More Women Not Waiting For Mr. Right

Many of these women have probably aborted infants and now they view a child as just another "possession" to aquire as easily as possible.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be included in or removed from the MORAL ABSOLUTES PINGLIST, please FReepMail wagglebee.

70 posted on 05/21/2006 12:37:40 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: HitmanLV
Perfectly smart and understandable. And very wise! Good luck in all things! ;-)

Thank you. :) You can't imagine the negative reaction I get, particularly from other women, when I tell them that choosing a mate is a decision that should be made on a practical basis as well as an emotional one. And the emotional one isn't primary.

71 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:00 PM PDT by virginiaspook
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To: Gritty

So why are men selling their semen? I guess you could say it would be better for everyone if they would just jack off into a garbage can rather than sell it.


72 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:08 PM PDT by marajade (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
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To: mewzilla
These women, IMO are very very selfish. They would willfully deny their children fathers. Horrible choice. I adored my father growing up, and as an adult as well. Without a father, these children have no way of learning what a man is or what to expect out of themselves, (if they are boys) nor what to expect from men (if they are girls)

Also, it is a fathers place to teach his children respect for their mother (and vise versa) For a mother to teach a child respect for her, can only be just so effective, and through the teen years especially, comes off as selfish, and all about her, instead of how a father comes off.

For instance, when a teen gets a little mouthy, and the mother says don't talk to me like that, it comes across to the kid many times, as just one more thing to parent back to her. When a father says don't talk to your mother that way, it is much more effective, more teaching than preaching.
73 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:09 PM PDT by gidget7 (PC is the huge rock, behind which lies hide!)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
"Goodbye men, it was nice knowing you.",

We still need to be kept around to pay for the government run child care and/or welfare these single mothers will need. If you look at it that way, we're all fathers!

74 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:20 PM PDT by gore_sux (and so does Xlinton)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
Women that no man would want, having children to feel loved and needed. They are totally unsatisfied with any man that they could actually 'get'.

What ever happened to buying a cat?

75 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:39 PM PDT by Bon mots
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To: HitmanLV

to be honest, this doesn't bother me that much. we have low birth rates in this country, and if these women want children and they can afford to raise them, let them get pregnant if they want.


76 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:43 PM PDT by oceanview
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To: wagglebee

"Many of these women have probably aborted infants..."

How on earth did you come to this conclusion?


77 posted on 05/21/2006 12:39:14 PM PDT by marajade (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

I hope all these women live very long lives,VERY ALONE AND VERY LONELY!


78 posted on 05/21/2006 12:39:59 PM PDT by INSENSITIVE GUY
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To: marajade

haha! Good point.


79 posted on 05/21/2006 12:40:01 PM PDT by No Blue States
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

Well gee whiz, if the sperm donor sounded so great, why didn't they meet and get married? Yeah I know....

The coming genetic disaster is scary.


80 posted on 05/21/2006 12:41:39 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl (If you don't understand the word "Illegal", then the public school system has failed you.)
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