Why so many grads 'fail to launch'

MSN Money ^ | Monday, April 03, 2006 | MP Dunleavey

[Panzerlied]

Many 20-somethings find themselves moving home to live with Mom and Dad, just like the movie 'Failure to Launch.' Blame it on the inertia -- and some very real challenges.

[Constantine XIII]

I wish people would quit saying that, because I'm working on becoming an astronaut. :P

[Old Professer]

Part of this trend starts at home where parents like myself always have the welcome mat out for our kids.

It is only in modern times that it has been made to seem as though there is life beyond parenting; as though we are no more social than vultures or mountain lions.

Once a parent, a parent for life if the devotion is truly there.

A swift kick in the butt for the lazy ones doesn't hurt long but exile may be permanent.

When we read pieces such as this we must recognize that we are merely subsidizing someone who is trying to prove that those years of parent-subsidized education has finally begun to pay off.

Live long and make them suffer come payback time, that's my motto.

[dfwgator]

My wife lived with her parents for a few years after her graduation. It allowed her to save up a significant among of money, and now her mother lives with us, and we can afford to support her, because of the fact that her daughter was allowed to still live with them after college.

And having the mother in law with us is a tremendous help, she helps to cook and take care of the kids.

Extended families can be a good idea, of course, your mileage may vary.

[ScubieNuc]

"An educated mother might be a bit better mother, since all learning begins at home."

I agree that it MIGHT help in some aspects, and a HUGE amen to learning begins at home. However, like someone else posted, perseverance is everything, talent, genius, and education are all secondary.

Mom's are an excellent example of perseverance for them. I think another cliche that sums it up well is, "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." (or something like that)

I just think our society has become over intoxicated with the idea that knowledge is the key to success. Knowledge is simply information. Wisdom is proper application of knowledge. We have kid's pumped full of information, yet they have no wisdom in how life works.

I would rather my daughter have the loving heart of her mother, The strong work ethic of her mother, and the wisdom of her mother, then all the knowledge offered at any college.

I do think that some college coarses offer a great base for expanding or improving you interests. An example is my wife again. She is currently taking classes every Thursday night for a couple of weeks to learn more about photography. It has been her side hobby/passion, and I highly encourage her to pursue it. Yet, her number one priority is being "her kids mom" as she ( and Dr. Laura) says. To that end, I don't know of a college that would make her better at being "her kids mom."

Sorry to rant, it's just something I'm being to think about since my oldest (son) is going to High School next year. Boy, how time flys.

Sincerely

[ScubieNuc]

Much wisdom in your posting.

"No woman, or man for that matter, knows what the future may bring."

So true. From my belief, I would then say that a person (man or woman) should get their moral beliefs in order first. As a Christian, if I put my faith in Jesus, then no matter what happens (death, recession, injury), I am secure.

For a woman, I believe that the greatest gift a woman can give is raising children and supporting a God-fearing man. I know that as a man and a dad, my greatest joys are my wifes love and my children. It actually pains my soul when I think of women pursuing a career, believing that raising children is drudgery and going to a job is rewarding. If I could have stayed home and raised my children the way my wife was able to do, instead of holding down a job, I would have swapped in a heart beat! I know that raising children is alot of work, but there is no reward at work like the spontaneous hug of a messy two year old.

"People are different. If your daughter wants to go to college, then I think you should help her. If she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't try to convince her, if you think that's the right action for her.

My daughter is living at home and I would strongly recommend to most parents to consider that, if they are near a suitable college."

All well spoken, and for the most part I agree with you. For my daughter, though, I am going to encourage her to follow her heart, as apposed to going to college to get a degree. As an example...she loves horses. I know of a place in Colorado that for a couple thousand dollars and a few months training she could get certified to be a Parrelli horse trainer. It's not a degree, but it would be doing what she loves and there are definately jobs you can get with that certification.

Maybe my answer seems a bit nuanced, but then, I don't have a college degree either.

8^)

Sincerely

[olivia3boys]

Another, very practical reason for your wife or daughter to get a degree would be so that they could get a good paying job to support themselves if, God forbid, you should die or divorce your wife--or if your daughter's future husband did.

A college degree definitely makes a woman more employable, should she be forced to enter the workforce by unhappy circumstance.

[Junior]

Well, there's always the Navy...

[ScubieNuc]

"Another, very practical reason for your wife or daughter to get a degree would be so that they could get a good paying job to support themselves if, God forbid, you should die or divorce your wife--or if your daughter's future husband did. "

I understand what you are saying, and maybe this is too nuanced, but that reasoning is based on your primary faith in money providing for your needs when troubles arise. As a Christian, we are to primarily put our faith in God to take care of our needs. In the Bible the role of the woman is primarily to raise the children and help the husband.

Am I saying then that no Christian woman should get a degree and go out into the work force....NO! Where God leads each of us to use our gifts is between the individual and God.

I just see this treadmill that says girls NEED to go the college to get a good job. What seems to happen in alot of cases is women go to college, incur large debt, and go into the work world to pay off the debts and prove that they are "equal." They then develop an attitude of independance that keeps them from having children, or keeps them away from their children while they continue their career.

I realize the end result isn't what women pursue, but it becomes contrary to the wonderful blessings that God desires for women.

As far as rotten husbands go,(I know there's alot of 'em) if a women spends more time going to church and checking out her future mate based on spiritual guidelines instead of how cute he looks, or how much cash he has, then the divorce rates would be much lower. Plus, (idealy, I know) if all the available women were in church doing that, where do you think all the worthwhile men would spend more of their time?

I know, I'm a dinosaur. I don't think this way now because I want to "keep women down." Rather, I see a real life example in my wife of what a blessing it has been to follow the guidelines of the Bible, as opposed to the "practical" guidelines of our society.

Sincerely

[ScubieNuc]

"For me what did it was military service - it is made abundantly clear in bootcamp that your baseline is picking up cigarette butts from the grinder and that you're going to have to earn your way up from there. In case there are any cherished assumptions left in your young mind of special status or how much life owes you there's usually an NCO of some sort with a colorful means of disabusing you of any such illusion. It is that that is mischaracterized by non-military lefties as "breaking" an individual. It is no such thing. It is enlightening them."

Here, here, well said!! That was my experience as well. I think a mandatory two year service time for all 18 year old males would do the U.S. some good. If they didn't want to serve in the Armed Forces, you could have a Inter-city force, or a National parks service. Make them go through 2 months of bootcamp type environment, make them dress alike, and make them realize that a 40 hour work week is a break!

Sincerely

[oblomov]

Coolidge spoke little, but when he spoke, he spoke like a Roman orator.

[rhombus]

So you're tellig me it's administrative costs to file paperwork. The campuses I have seen of late all have lots of new construction. That has to be expensive too. Cheaper to build anew than to rennovate?

[RightWingRadio]

I know we didn't have to walk 16 miles uphill both ways to school and work 16 hour days in the coal mine at age 6 like some of you.

That's because most of us paved the way and either invented, created or built a better world so you wouldn't have to sonny. And as for your snotty attitude, thanks for proving our point.

[krunkygirl]

save

[mysterio]

I have a "snotty" attitude because I am put off by the constant "those damned kids and their rock and roll laziness" crap that I always see on these threads. It's never taken into account that while you were paving those roads, government was grown to the point where it takes two people working full time just to pay the bills and taxes. An uphill walk both ways is better than a cancerous government that eats 50% of your income when all is said and done.

[ScubieNuc]

"And it pissed me off a bit, especially when I come on these threads and see older people who had a completely different situation judging, judging, judging. But don't let me interrupt your "these damned lazy kids" fun."

So why do you come to "these threads" if that is what you believe? If you did the best you could with what you had (which it sounds like you did), then you have nothing to be angry at.

This thread is directed at those who ARE lazy, spoiled, stupid, or all the above. Those kind of people exist in Every generation, it's just that the sob story that got posted, would never have been put out there so as to some how raise some sympathy for the "poor souls."

Sincerely

[Centurion2000]

If what you have to offer is a typical 9-5 position at a starting salary in Cleveland or Rochester someplace, 18 of of 20 candidates will turn it down out of hand. They'd rather live at home with Mom and Dad until all of these demands are met. Spoiled brats!

Just read your post. You're kidding right? They want salary comparable to 10yrs exp ?

- I want to work only for an employer who is sufficiently "Environmentally and Socially Responsible" (whatever THAT means!)

This means that they are just complete idiots. Working is about making money and very very little else. I don't care if my company made nuclear weapons. If I'm getting paid, I'm working. (except when freeping, but I still make all my deadlines so everyone's happy)

[ThinkPlease]

Amongst a few other things, yep, but up until last year, I'd say that accounts for about 30% of cost increases. From first-hand experience, I think that there is a lot of middle management in the university setting that could be axed out...how much I couldn't say, but there is chaff there. This year, if you see a big tuition jumpespecially in the northern tier, it's going to be energy costs that drive it.

Most campuses do both. The local one I'm near has rebuilt a half dozen buildings and built about half dozen in the last decade. There are still buildings that date back to the 40s, and residence halls that date back to the 20's, so it's not like it's a shiny new campus or anything. Is it cheaper to build anew? I bet the answer is, "It depends."

[mysterio]

I suppose because I feel somewhat tied to my age group and I feel others have been typecasted as lazy because it's a shortcut to thinking and considering a group of circumstances unique to a time period. I'm not trying to raise sympathetic feelings.

The irony is that at least internally, the 55 year old version of me will probably be looking at 25 year old kids and thinking they are lazy in some way without considering their circumstances. Maybe the generation gap is unavoidable. It would be nice to know if it served some useful purpose.

[Myrddin]

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.

Amen. I was interested in working for PacBell in September 1977, but the California Public Utilities Commission had frozen their budget. I took a job repairing marine electronics and even had to join the IBEW union. This after graduating at 19 from UCSD and finishing a year of graduate work. I found the right people at PacBell and checked in every 2 weeks until I got the green light in April 1980. Two years of calling. My start date was April 21, 1980. I stayed with them until November 30, 1991 when I was hired away to my current employer.

That job at PacBell started at $19,000. Not great for 1980. I taught school in the evening to augment my income. I was able to earn $40,000 that year between the two jobs. By 1985, I had been promoted such that the PacBell job alone was paying $44,000. I left at $60,300 in November 1991.

BTW, that union job started at $4.75/hour in September 1977. I demonstrated that I was worth a bunch more than that. I was making $9.10/hour by June 1978 when I got married. My wife and I purchased out first house in May 1978.

[Myrddin]

I doubt that engineering and science majors have this prob at all. I see liberal arts degrees all over the place for one reason. The courses are simple, don't require math and leave you plenty of time for partying. The kids coast, graduate... then find out their degree isn't worth much.

I took 18 to 22 units every quarter. There was no time to party. Mornings started on campus at 7 AM (after a 25 mile drive) to teach my physics class. The day usually ended around 11 PM as I was wrapping up work in the biochem labs. In between I had multiple lectures to attend and a little time to track down food. UCSD didn't have much to offer on campus between 1974 and 1976. A drive down to Clairemont to eat at the Jack-in-the-Box was my usual solution...or a brown bag lunch. I looked forward to a late lunch of teriyaki chicken with my biochem prof on Wednesdays. There was a grill near the Revelle Provost Office that was open a couple days each week.