Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
atheisists are far more likely to shack up rather than getting married. When shack-ups split, there is no divorce.
I am not an authority on who is going to hell or heaven.
I, personally, would not feel I was saved unless I had done what God gave instruction to do.
I could go into much explanation of why baptism is needed (God has always required cleanliness to be in his presence in the holy place). Even Christ was baptised and why would he have done that if it was not what God wished?
Yet, there is no question that Christ paid the price for our salvation and that is what makes us worthy to be in God's presence someday. Yet, we do all the steps specified in order to receive that most wonderful gift.
The reason? We are told to repent and be baptised and we would be saved. So, therefore, the Church of Christ teaches repent, confess your belief in Jesus, be buried with Christ in baptism and you arise a new person following Christ.
What is so awful about trying to follow simple instructions to receive such a wonderful gift?
Do you think I should quibble about how much I do - when Christ came to earth, was crucified on the cross and suffered for my sins? And, I am to say - ok, but I don't have to be baptised - that is just too much to ask?
Wake up and realize what you are complaining about. The gift of eternal life, a gift so powerful and we complain that we don't need baptism?
Not me.
Then if i was you, I wouldn't go around arguing about what the Church of Christ believes when you can't back it up.
Like I said before to another Church of Christer, am I a Christian if I am not baptized? Am I going to Heaven of Hell when I die?
And I will continue to speak the truth whether you like it or not.
I know the Bible.
To answer your question, even though you haven't answered mine with any supportable defense...as I read the scriptures/Word of God, I see that for me to be saved, to go to Heaven, I must be baptized. Baptism is what saved me. It is through baptism that I put on Christ, and through which I received the cleansing of Christ's blood. I died to sin, I was buried with Christ in the water's of baptism and I (like Christ) was resurrected to walk a new life.
Now, defend your salvation.
I have made a comment and stated my beliefs. If you don't agree, more power to you. I simply do not care.
However, it is asked of you as it is every other Church of Christer who hasd attacked my opinion. if I am not baptized, am I going to Heaven or Hell?
And your answer will be proof of whether or not this organization is cult like, which is my contention, like it or lump it.
I answered your question, and so did God. Read his word. If you don't agree, refute it. Prove me wrong. Please. I really want to know.
1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light,
we have fellowship one with another,
and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
I have bad news for you. You are trusting the local water company and not Jesus Christ.
That means you are not born again.
If it's your contention that I am not saved if I am not baptized, then your contention proves MINE, which is that the Church of Christ is cult like in it's belief.
Do you mind if I interject something?
the Bible doesn't really give us a choice about submission. We should.
And the husband who does not fulfill his duty does not let us off the hook for neglecting ours.
Andrea Yates was a lunatic long before Rusty ever came on the scene. He is Church of Christ BTW.
Prove it partner. Prove it. You can't. Refute my post above. Your statements are not proof. Give me God's Word. PROVE IT. I really want to know. If my salvation hangs in the balance, then be the good Christian you claim to be and show me the truth. What does God's word say? I don't care what you say, what does God say? I gave you scripture, now give me scriptural proof that I an trusting in the local water company and not Jesus.
No, that's where you are mistaken. It was not my words, it was God's. Did you not read the scriptures I posted? Did you not dig deep into God's word and see what He had to say on the subject? If not, then that's a sad, sad thing. I believe what God said, not what I said. Did you ever figure out what word doesn't belong in I Peter 3:21? Do you really care what the word of God says? Or are you just spouting what someone told you to spout. That is what makes a cultist. I rely on God's Word. Not man's.
I agree. But she mistakenly thought he was and was why she kept poppin out the kids and went off her meds.
BTW, he found another woman to marry.
That is where the CofC goes wrong. God can do anything. God can even save those who are not baptized. That's okay the CofC is not alone. The Catholic Church makes the same mistake.
You are right. If he chose to do so he could but wouldn't that violate his own word?
I used to believe like you as a member of both a mainline CofC and the ICC and now I believe differently. There is something about that thief on the cross that's never been fully explained, at least to me. I was never of the belief that Acts 2:38 was the only scripture that counted.
I think there's more to the spirit than just the symbolism of water.
Well, if you will recall, the thief on the cross died before the church was instituted on the Day of Pentecost. He died under the old law. The mission of Christ had not yet been fulfilled when the thief on the cross died. The mission/work of Christ did not finish until 3 days after the thief died. That being when Christ was raised from the dead. You cannot compare the two. They are under different dispensations. One the law of Moses, and the other under the law of Liberty/the Law of Christ.
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