[Timeout]

That is very insulting to the men of past generations. I hope you didn't mean it that way.

I didn't mean it as an insult. It's a hard concept to describe, but I'll try. There used to be a certain reward in the workplace for presenting oneself to the world as a mature, responsible family man. One can denigrate it is as "conformity". But it was definitely a consideration in promotions and hiring. It wasn't insulting. It was the natural inclination of the promoter (who was probably a man---sorry) to consider all aspects of the candidates on his list. He might give preference to a married man with two babies as opposed to one who was still single and playing the field. That's all I was saying.

[magslinger]

The employer was looking out for his own interests, which employee is going to work harder to keep the promotion, a single guy who can pick up stakes and move at any time or the man with a wife, two kids and a banker to support?

[proxy_user]

"He might give preference to a married man with two babies as opposed to one who was still single and playing the field. That's all I was saying."

Now they prefer single guys, because we can show up for work at 9 in the morning, stay until 9 at night, and work some more on weekends. Married guys can't do that, especially if they have kids.

[Huck]

The explanation is simple, methinks. To an employer, a stable, conformist, family man is a safe bet. Not only is he showing himself to be governable, maleable, but he also has a strong incentive to buckle under and do whatever the boss says. After all, he's got a wife/kids to look after. I know fellas like that today. They'd treat their jobs differently, but they have kids, so they take it on the chin.

Contrast that with a non-conformist dude with no kids, who doesn't have a lot of pressure on him. That guy is probably too unpredictable, or too ungovernable. Makes sense to me.And that comes from being the ungovernable one.

FWIW, I moved out on my own at age 19 and never looked back.

[stacytec]

I'm glad those days are gone, in my world you either produce or get stepped on by someone willing to do the job better/faster/longer. Our upper management is under seige by people willing to work a 15 hour day. Only one of those people has kids, and she had to hire a nanny.

[Melas]

Any preference outside of performance is the very social engineering you're claiming to hate. What's wrong with good old merit? Hank makes more than Larry, because Hank's a better technician, salesman, assembler, etc etc. The fact that Larry has a wife and six kids and Hank is single is totally besides the point.

Likewise, as long as Hank is out producing Larry, Hank should be in line for the promotions, not Larry. This whole idea that we prop married people up over single people is preposterous, and I've been married for most of my life now.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Ok. Got it.