Posted on 03/20/2006 8:29:35 AM PST by dson7_ck1249
You know the old saying about having a hammer and everything looking like nails? I was reading an article in the Journal of Law and Economics about why housing prices in Manhattan are so high, and I thought, "Omigosh! The answer to the demographic implosion." Since my hammer happens to be sex and marriage, even an economics article reminds me of sex. So bear with me. I’ll explain what the article had to say about housing prices. Then I’ll tell you what it has to do with sex...
(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...
#1 Only date women who share your values. That is a fundamental basis for a marriage.
#2. No sex before marriage.(See #1) Sex before marriage short circuits the natural course of the relationship. You also want to show the woman that you are man enough to control yourself. A woman worth marrying will appreciate that.
#3. Don't let love cloud your good sense. Pay attention to how a woman interacts with other people. If she argues constantly with her family, gossips about coworkers, or treats the waiter at the restaurant like a serf, she will not be good wife/mother material. Remember it will largely be her personality which will be imprinted on your kids. Also, bad-mouthing former boyfriends is a bad sign.(She may soon be bad-mouthing YOU to her next boyfriend).
#4. Don't oversell. Don't lead a woman on if you are not truly interested. Be fair.
Actually, I am somewhat serious about my comment concerning navel-gazing. I have seen so many people of this current generation that don't seem to get the real meaning of marriage and raising a family and they seem to spend a whole lot of time debating factors that don't really matter. Most of the factors will change in your late twenties anyway and they are not under your control.
God designed us to be married and we should take the opportunity to see that His plan for us is fulfilled.
Those are exactly, almost verbatim, the principles I have for dating. Good to see I'm not totally nuts.
Another issue to consider is the state of people today and how the developments over the last 40 or so years have changed society. We are not 35 years or so into the age of divorce and the effects are rather chilling. We are also into our 4th decade of feminism and the destruction that has wrought.
I see people being far more confused about their choices and with good reason.
You'll also get to have the satisfaction of seeing your grandchildren grow up while you're still healthy enough to participate.
Excellent points, although I don't think our experience will necessarily parallel Japan's. Unless there's a major cultural change (or invasion), Japan is not going to have much immigration, so a lower absolute population there is a real probability.
The United States does have immigration, and we can assume that will continue. It's true that at the moment, many immigrants are Mexican and poor. However, that may not always be the case; also, a poor Mexican today may be a rich Mexican in 15 years, with hard work and frugality. Will rich Mexicans want 4,000 sqft brick boxes in the suburbs? Only time will tell ...
Only one person can figure out if you are mature enough. You. My advice, as a recently engaged 29yearold, is take your time and be satisfied where you are at in your life. That is not the same as 'wait till you are older'. Just have a mind set that is not putting extra pressure on you to be married NOW. Being somewhat content with your singleness but interested in more will give you a certain level of confidence (women dig that). Oh, and DON'T settle! That is the problem with wanting to get married as soon as possible. You might want to settle on something you really know is not right. Don't settle for less and don't compromise your standards.
I agree with your points. It's true that I wasn't especially mature or well-prepared for marriage at 22, but I don't think another 10 years of single life would have helped all that much. Being married and having children is a "maturing" experience, and I've got the gray hair to prove it :-).
You are making far too many generalizations about people in their 30s.
Yeah...It'll be so cool getting solictations from AARP in the mail...along with your kids high school tutition bill when you're in your fifties! ;o)
One of the problem is the skill sets required to prosper. We live in a complex world that requires very highly specialized and complex skill sets to get ahead.
Fer instance -- a corporate lawyer won't leave school until his or her mid-20s. After that they become an associate, which requires 80 to 100 hour work weeks (billable hours!!!) Figure they will change jobs once or twice and that takes them up to age 30 before they are "stable."
The same is true for any number of jobs...
Not true. I was making generalizations about single people in their thirties. Perhaps it's different for you, but I work for a large corporation and the vast majority of my married coworkers own their own homes and live relatively responsible lives. My single coworkers mostly rent apartments and party on weekends. When we talk about how the 401k or the company stock is doing it's always among the married guys, since we're almost all participating in these plans. When it comes to cars however most of the old beaters, economy cars and work trucks belong to the family guys while the single guys ussually have newer, faster and more expensive cars and trucks.
My dad paid high school tuition bills in his 50s. Smart, happy man!
Despite the screaming headlines that the press never fails to lay out, most marriages do not end in divorce. A relatively small number of people rack big divorce numbers and it is played to the hilt by the MSM.
If you have a very close friend of the opposite sex, it is very likely that the two of you share the values that important to a marriage. It is very common for best friends to marry and they tend to have long-term, successful marriages.
Frequently, one of the members of a close "platonic" relationship has thought about marriage to the other partner, but fears bringing it up. Treat the other person as a date, rather than as just friend and you may be surprised at the response.
Just my two cents. I am married to the best friend that I have ever had and it is a really good marriage.
So... am I crazy or am I desperate, hmm?
I have had the same experience with many mid 30s inside large corporations. They seem incredibly immature. The priorities in their lives are just not proper for someone their age, that is the best that I can explain it. It's a bit weird to see them in action.
Very true. My husband and I became friends when I was 16 and he was 16. We remained friends (purely platonic) through the rest of high school and into college. We did not start dating until I was 19 and he was 21, after my freshman year of college. We married nearly 5 years later - a full DECADE after our friendship began.
Marriage is not all wine and roses and perfection, but I have to say that we've enjoyed our first year (our first anniversary is next month). It has had challenges but overall it has been wonderful to share my life with my best friend!
We are purchasing our first house now - and in a higher priced real estate market. So many young couples make the mistake of trying to buy a new beautiful house. They wind up stretched thin on their mortgage even with two incomes, and then when you add the cost of children into the mix, things get out of hand. Our home is decent but not new, and not huge, and we can afford it relatively comfortably. We are expecting a big boost in income this year when DH finishes college and starts making more money. We have the rest of our lives to own a larger, fancier home - for now we just need a comfortable place that will build equity and that can accomodate a few kiddos (not for a few years yet!).
From an early age, I've felt a strong conviction that the solo, galavanting "Don Juan" life was not for me. It feels incomplete, unfulfilled and exceedingly transient.
Maybe you haven't been doing it right...
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