Posted on 03/20/2006 7:34:30 AM PST by mathprof
That's a good one, seriously. Yet we allow them the major priveleges (TV, video games and such) on weekends. So when reduction of privileges occurs, it can be for one or two days depending on the infraction. A two day suspension means near two weeks without said privilege. The system works. My eldest got straight A's again this term, my youngest got highest available marks for her age.
Here is why I'm going to kick out my children at age 17 (to go to college, which I will help pay for):
We need bedroom #1 back to turn into a study.
We need bedroom #2 back to turn into an exercise room.
We need bedroom #3 back to turn into a guest room.
We need bedroom #4 back to turn into a home theater.
Our 2080 sq ft house is crammed now with 6 people. We can't wait to get them out so we have some breathing room!
The first one moves out in 8 years. I love my children dearly, but look forward to them moving out and becoming independent.
I insisted that the carpet in all of the house be accessable to the vacuum cleaner. My wife told the kids that everything in their rooms that was not furniture must be picked up every Friday night for Saturdays vacuuming by me.
Anything that was on the floor was tossed into a garbage bag by me and I would put it in the outside garbage pail then dump the kitchen trash on top of it.
It only took two or three times before they decided Dad wasn't fooling when he said pick it up. The toys were put in the toy boxes, the shoes were put in the shoe racks, clothes were either hung up or put in the laundry baskets.
They did appreciate my rules when they became old enough to do the vacuuming.
Now that is a thought. Maybe they would appreciate the rule more if I made them start using the vaccuum.
Thanks for that tip.
"I'm going to print this out and save it (out of my daughter's reach). Next time I'm about to blow my stack, I'll lock myself in my room and read it over and over! You're right, there are way more important things and, when the kids are gone and their rooms neat and clean, who will care about today's mess?"
Exactly.
Of course we want to teach them responsibility and how to live on their own. You can't let it go but so far. But once they're gone, too many parents wonder why they didn't talk to them more and spend more time with them.
"What do you do when it's your Daughter-in-Law, and the house is a pig sty....??? With cat poop in the clean clothes basket, a full cat box on the front porch to greet you when you arrive, or on the back porch baking in the sun......? And, the one bathroom (for 6 people) didn't get cleaned until around oh, 4 months or so...."
Now that's a tough one. My sister is sort of the DIL you describe, although not THAT bad. If your son doesn't mind the way the house is or doesn't do anything about it, I'm not sure what you can do.
I actually saved the foodstuffs during the week, separated from paper and containers so that I would have it to dump on top of the bagged belongings. It wasn't pleasant for them when they had to move the old foodstuffs out of the way to get to the bag.
I would imagine that had a lot to do with their learning that retrieval wasn't fun, clean or easy.
Beat you! My PARENTS moved out, and sold the house when I was 23!
Dad took a job in Libya (pre-Kadaffi) and Mom moved to Malta, to be close enough to him for visits & vacations.
I, on my income, had no choice but to find cheaper digs, closer to my job.
Not long afterwards, my now-wife's parents sold THEIR house out from under her, and moved to Venezuela, on a three year contract.
Some of us are harder to get out of the nest than others.
I will say though, that we both did work and regularly pay board & room once we were out of high school.
LOL!!!!!!!!! That's hardcore getting rid of the kids :)
My brother was about 29 when he finally bought a house and moved out of my parents.....and they still live in the same house :)
So thats an excuse. I live rent free, so I can be a slob? Sorry too many are working AND putting themselves through collage! Kick her out!
Agreed. I finally told my son that the clutter didn't bother me. He just has to keep up the food, dishes and trash.
Of course I also refuse to help him look for anything when he can't find it.
I was just addressing the issue of her living at home. I agree with you; if she is a slob, kick her out. my miscommunication.
ping for own messy daughters
Oh....you're one of those. I'll bet if someone doesn't come to visit you in the hospital when you're sick....you won't go see them ...right?
Yeah Fawn thats exactly what I do! I don't support 20 year olds who live under my roof and don't take care of my house that I pay a morgage on while they live rent free. And when I'm in the hospital I don't tend to get out and about to see anyone, probably because I'M SICK AND IN A HOSPITAL! Good to know your so mobile after surgery though! Very spunky!
Oh....you're one of those. I'll bet if someone doesn't come to visit you in the hospital when you're sick....you won't go see them when They're sick ...right? ( I didn't insinuate at the same time--Jeez)
Now....I just want to add that I THANK GOD you were not my dad.
Obvious don't have any respect for a father or his house by defending this lazy collage trash! Your under some delusion that because you refuse to work hard by getting a job and going to school at the same time (which I'm sure the dad is paying the tuition as well) that a person is entitled to live however they want under his roof! Yep you better thank God your are not my daughter! I would have punted your little butt out to build some character in you, since you seem to excuse lazy behavior instead of hard work!
I once gave my daughter my final word about cleaning her room. She was maybe 15 or 16 and she did such a good job that I remember being surprised that there was carpet on the floor.
I really like the Bag Lady idea.
Your ignorance is eye opening. I already said I was going to school, working full time and hardly home. I also paid for ALL my own college.....2 degrees and all the tuition while working. I also worked extra during the summers int he flea market. You are one mean dude.
Another thing. My parents taught me how to take care of my room and I had many chores growing up. These parents did a lousy job of instilling Cleanliness is next to Godliness. They waited a bit too long to try to undo their mistakes.
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