I agree. My life is in shambles. I wish my problems would disappear. But they don't. It is especially hard when you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Every day is a chore to wake up.
If you take each day as it comes doing the best you can, the days will add up and suddenly you will find yourself in a new future. Self examination for identifying change and goals or visions needed and wanted and making lists of things to do towards that end every day, will take you into a new reality. Some days will be better than others but keep plugging away. Praying really does give you wisdom, ideas, energy and hope. Good luck!
I view death as it will eventually happen and there is no need to rush it.
PLEASE talk to a doctor or a social worker or your community health department about depression screening.
This can be caused by a chemical imbalance and it can be helped!!! You do not have to live with such hopelessness.
God Bless.
In the meantime, exercise, get out into the sun every day, take a good multivitamin, and read up on SAM-e and fish oil as natural aids for mood support. And find a way to laugh from your gut. You can do it.
I hope you are getting good professional help. I've suffered an unrelenting one off and on all my adult years; the last 15 or so, it is resistant to treatment and drugs, but they help and are better than nothing.
In spite of it all, there are some good days mixed in with the awful ones, and I have pretty much learned to live with it and in spite of it.
The hardest part is being around people who are happy or at least not depressed, and it is difficult to feel like you belong because you feel no joy or happiness, just emptiness and pain.
I sincerely hope things improve for you. Sometimes it just runs its course and you are able to enjoy life again.