Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
If you would have read the whole thread you would know that this is reaction against female bashers on free republic is not just contained to the experience of women just on this thread.
There are plenty of creepy, disrespectful responses regarding assumptions that full time moms are pets and leeches who should get a job and "contribute" to society and who deserve to be poor when their husbands ditch them for a new young thing. At the same time conservatives tell women - raise your own kids and volunteer in the community. This is the feminist form of female abuse - you can do it all which boils down for some men to be - you should do it all! You don't see female bashing?
I see this post as two straw men and an excuse.
No, conservative men are no more likely than anyone else to be 'nice'. They run the gammut. Just like women do. But your posts sets up a scenario where the men tend to be nice and women tend to be bitches to them, and when their relationships fail, men are blameless and women are predators. I don't buy that premise.
While it's true that we have an unfortunate part of our personality that treats ~weakness~ with contempt (power corrupts), ~weakness~ is in no way the same thing as "nice" though they are easily confused. But this corruption of the relationship by power is not a soley female trait, it's a male trait as well. In fact, it's exactly that corruptive power differential aspect of traditional families that makes ~women~ historically more often the victims of the violence of overbearing men.
So I think your conclusion, that FR is just the receptical for a bunch of male victims of women is a conclusion based on two false premises. While it's true many of us come here with the scars of our past failed relationships, to say that the men of FR tend to be mere victims of women is both unfair to the women of this board, and more importantly, greatly reduces men. I don't know any men who are hapless victims, but I do know a lot of people who aren't very good at managing their relationships.
And while none of us can sit here and accurately dissect the relationships of strangers who are sharing only what they want to about their 'baggage' on a forum, it's not helpful to anyone to send them down a path that will indeed make them less functional and not more in trying again. I happen to think it's true that both men and women need to feel secure, respected and loved in their relationships. But we aren't going to get there by setting each other up as alternating predators and prey depending on who's doing the talking.
[All I see is guys who don't necessarily believe the article told the whole story]
By the way, I have reconsidered my ideas on how the woman's left wing activism might have been a factor. If the woman's husband had been a Bush fan...a left wing activist might blurt that out and try to say to women "see the Bushies are abandoning us women" or something to that effect. I think the man is probably a liberal as well. Not even Bill totally abandoned Hillary like that.
Re: The deleted posts: I went a little overboard (hey, it was late) regarding some gratuitously condescending nasty posts by galveston grl, and the Moderator saved me from myself (Thanks Mod!!!!!)
The other 50% of the time the victims are men.
Sit down.
Breathe deeply.
Don't hyperventilate.
Broaden your horizons.
Excuse me? What in heaven's name are you talk about?
"All women are bitches," "All American women are bitches," "None of what happened to me was my fault, it was all the fault of monstrous women," et cetera, ad nauseam.
My friend, you REALLY seem to 'want a beating' from both sides of the aisle;
First you email me bemoaning how you are being too beaten up by the FR feminists to want to join a discussion like this; then you pop up and start taking pot shots at me.
I have reviewed your recent (loooooooong and mind-numbingly boring and self-absorbed) posts in similar threads, and it is obvious that you have WAAAYYY too much time on your hands.
Brava. Thank you. Very well-thought-out post. Ya done good.
Fortunately the Mod 'saved me from myself' (FR ought to have a 'delete my last post' option for those of us who suffer from impulsiveness.
But 98% percent of the time I'm OK ;-)
C'mon, you have to admit that the joke about how women can be more like men was at least clever (if not funny)......
Glad to hear it. ;-)
[First you email me bemoaning how you are being too beaten up by the FR feminists to want to join a discussion like this; then you pop up and start taking pot shots at me.]
Pot shots for posts that got deleted? Cmon guy, if you have something to say about FReminists then say it so the administrator keeps it online even!
I don't know what an 'anti-woman' post is, but I trust that all THINKING readers have recognized that my posts referred to a TYPE of woman (psychotic violent abusers) and NOT TO ALL WOMEN.
As far as my exchanges with some of the more annoying (alleged) conservative chicks on this thread go - hey - if they can dish it out, they better be prepared to take it.
As I've said earlier, one half of the victims of marital abuse are women - the other half are (*GASP*) MEN.
This seems to be a revelation to some of the (alleged) conservative women on this thread, but I suppose that only shows how sheltered they've been.
The most vile, deceitful, violent femme (pun intended) that I knew also voted GOP and professed to be a born-again Christian (aka the World's Best Christian, aka the World's Only True Christian).
If you questioned that her actions might not have always matched her professions, she would get violent - seriously violent.
I don't suppose that any of the ladies on this thread were ever arrested for assault? Well, the conservative, Bible-thumping lady I have just referred to DID get herself arrested for assault. And could have been arrested for assault four dozen other times (at least), had someone not been 'covering' for her out of a misplaced sense of chivalry....
So, FReeper ladies, you think that only women live through violent marital nightmares? Well, you're WRONG.
The moment a violent femme realizes that she can beat her husband at will because...
a) as a gentleman he won't hit back, and
b) he won't report her because he hopes to be able to 'fix' the marriage
...its open season on hubby...
So guess what ladies? The violent dynamic in marriage is IDENTICAL whether the abuser is male or female. (Only the men rarely complain, partly due to embarassment, hence you almost never hear about the OTHER 50% of marital assaults...but now you have....)
So ya wanna know the story? (As Jerry in the old commercial used to say) THAAATTSStheSTOOOORRRYYYY....
We used to be able to, through a 'glitch' in the software. Now we can't because JR fixed the glitch. I miss that glitch ;~D
<<Sniffle<< I miss the glitch too!
WHahhhh!
Kindly tell me where I ever said that only women were abused? I'll give you a hint -- NEVER.
FYI - I've gotten beaten up on this forum more than once for standing up to some of the men bashers around here..they are as equally offensive to me as the woman bashers.
Well..that's ridiculous---you'll never see a post like that. You'll see them disguised......as in many threads.
Please put me on the list as well.
Men bashing is one of the most popular sports in pop culture today; FR is one of the few places where men can openly share their own ugly, (non-PC) experiences with bad women; when you ladies start piping up here in their defense, (not seeing this type of thread for what it is - "equal time" as Rush likes to say, as well as a chance for us to blow off some steam), you are unknowingly taking a base ball bat to a Hornet's nest....
Galveston Grl - why don't you get married and stay married for 12 years to a man who regularly beats you, destroys your nerves and self-respect through non-stop criticism, encourages you to kill yourself as a way of solving 'his problem', tries to kill you himself - and then come here and start reading men posting about women like yourself as being 'wounded puppies', and 'infiltrating the conservative movement' (whatever that it). Now do you 'GET' why your posts were read as being condescending, unnecessarily gratuitous and abusive of men?
I'm sorry you had such a bad relationship, but I would say that on a 'conservative forum' where family values is one of those conservative principles we strive for in our political movement, bashing women is no more helpful than bashing men would be.
It's better to be logical and fair than it is to be just equally wrong.
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