Turkey is best served live.
Posted on 11/23/2005 11:37:35 AM PST by neverdem
Cast your mind back to the Thanksgivings of your childhood--or if not yours, then Norman Rockwell's. See the flushed, familiar faces, the expanse of white damask, the jewel-like bowls of candied yams and cranberry sauce, and Granddad carving the large, gleaming, nut-brown . . . artichoke?
Wait--sorry. I've been looking at too many children's picture books. For though it's true that publishers still turn out Pilgrim- and Indian-themed stories about America's most beloved holiday--with pumpkins, cornucopias and roasted turkey--the aim of a surprising number of children's books about Thanksgiving seems to be to put little readers off their meat. In these stories, succulent turkey is out; crunchy veggies are in. And a plump gobbler isn't served on the table but at it.
"Thanksgiving dinner always means turkey! Or does it? One little pilgrim is not so sure . . " So goes the sell on the cover of Peggy Archer's "Turkey Surprise" (Dial, $10). In it, forest creatures help a turkey hide from two pilgrim boys, the younger of whom eventually succeeds in persuading his brother not to bag a fowl for Thanksgiving. In "Over the River: A Turkey's Tale" (Simon & Schuster, $14.95), illustrated by Derek Anderson, turkeys on their way to Grandma's house similarly manage to outwit and escape their pursuers before sitting down to a jolly meat-free Thanksgiving meal.
In "Thelonious Turkey Lives! (On Felicia Ferguson's Farm)" (Knopf, $15.95), by Lynn Rowe Reed, Thanksgiving's approach causes the eponymous avian hero to become "nervous about dinner--being dinner, that is." He assumes that Felicia is "trying to fatten him up for the chopping block." So he foments a barnyard insurgency to destabilize the apparently ferocious farmer, only to discover in the end that she merely wants his feathers to use as decorations on fashionable hats.
How cute! How O...
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Absolutely ROLFMAO!! I watch the Urban Gay Cowboy every morning and love it when McGuirk shouts,
"Wrong! Ya wrinkled up old bisexual, bedad!"
Imus looks worse than "a stuffed MUMMY in a cowboy museum".
He is his own Dorian Gray. Funny, but in a twisted way.
A number of years ago I read about the process of making soy edible. Most of it is forgotten except the fact that if it is not processed correctly, it is deadly.
You're right about it being "remotely capable of being eaten." Have you ever tasted it? Blechh!
This is our favorite holiday, too, why ruin it by grazing on weeds instead of food? That's neither thanks nor patriotic.
I actually ate that vile "food" during my vegetarian and vegan years. The plain "Tofurky" drumsticks with gravy were acceptable but the stuffed thing was atrocious.
The next 2 years I simply ate a grain-based field roast on holidays, which tasted much nicer. Then I got smart and decided to "return to the dark side" and became a happy carnivore again - MUCH better!
Here I was, really hoping GW would whip an ax out of his suit coat and wack one of those birds, "HERE'S GEORGIE!"
then proceed to field dress it and hand it the White
House chef. "Who want's to do the next one, no pardons
THIS year."
"How about you Andrea?"
Thud.
Oh, you wanted a female MP.
(Hangs old uniform back up and sulks away).
I've actually had Tofurky at holidays for years....With 2 Vegan siblings and their families, it's no biggie (and I like it).
In fact it saved Thanksgiving by being the TURKEY the year that an AuntIL and SILIL got in a weird mood and fixed BBQ butt instead of Turkey....with cheap buns even.
Oh, that was also the year we ate off of a 4th of July plastic table cloth and kiddie Birthday paper plates with weird SILIL in her bathrobe and her hubby out back fixing his truck.
Since then, we (the Martha Stewart Divas) don't let them do (The ILIL) anything more than bring the iced tea (We hide the wine) and fix both Turkey and Tofurkey....
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without it!
"Last year there was a photo in the newspaper that showed a free vegan Thanksgiving. There were five takers."
Nasty meal, nasty company - the wonder is that there were five derelicts that hard up for something to eat.
...and it is very live in space.
No wait: Revenge is a cold that is best served live.
I mean: Cold is a space that is best served revengefully.
No no no, I meant.....
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