Dear Kansas Teahching Proffsional, Posted on 11/18/2005 7:04:02 AM PST by Right Wing Professor
Forward By Connie Morris Dear Kansas Teahching Proffsional,
As you probibally had already herd, The Kansas Bored of Edukation has recently voted to teach alternatives to the Theory of Evoluition.
As I have said before publicly, Evoluion is an “age-old fairytale”, as opposed to Intellgient Design, which is based on faith, bible scripture, and other non-fairytales.
We are also happy to announce that, in our finite wisdom, we have also decided to redefine the word “Science” to include the comptemplation of supernatural explanations for natural phenomenon. I am so excited!
Although this will now allow Kansas Science teachers to teach Witchcraft, Satanism, VooDoo Worship, and Advanced Flat-Earth Theory, right along with our right-wing Christian views of science, we feel that we owe it to our students who would otherwise only be exposed to boring old logical and rational ways of thinking.
With that, I am happy to present to you a copy of the new “Intelligent Design Teachers Guide”. Please use it to stimulate conversation, but also feel free to branch out and encourage your students to invent intelligent design theories of their own.
This learning package was also supposed to include a Ouija Board, candles, incense, and a Magic 8 Ball, but the budget wouldn’t permit it. If I’m re-elected and not ousted by some fancy “book-learnin’ elitest, sexular-humanest”, I plege to get you those things, God willing.
We hope you make the most of this material, and support our crusade to destroy the pubic edukiton system, and to keep Kansas the laughing stock of the Nation.
Sinsurly,
Email comments to: kansasmorons@gmail.com
P.S. This is a parody for those of you who don’t get humor, sarcasm or irony.
Copyright 2005 Self-Righteous Cow Productions with help from www.kansasmorons.com
Wow, a dog giving birth to a what? Evilution in action.
By God, I believe there are none.
Then by God, you're very certain when you make your false claims in gross ignorance.
Here, start to actually learn about the subject before you spout off next time:
Hunt, Kathleen. 1994-1997. Transitional vertebrate fossils FAQ. http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-transitional.htmlEtc., etc., etc.
Miller, Keith B. n.d. Taxonomy, transitional forms, and the fossil record. http://www.asa3.org/ASA/resources/Miller.html
Patterson, Bob. 2002. Transitional fossil species and modes of speciation. http://www.origins.tv/darwin/transitionals.htm
Thompson, Tim. 1999. On creation science and transitional fossils. http://www.tim-thompson.com/trans-fossils.htmlCuffey, Clifford A. 2001. The fossil record: Evolution or "scientific creation". http://www.gcssepm.org/special/cuffey_00.htm or http://www.nogs.org/cuffeyart.html
Elsberry, Wesley R. 1995. Transitional fossil challenge. http://www.rtis.com/nat/user/elsberry/evobio/evc/argresp/tranform.html
Godfrey, L. R. 1983. Creationism and gaps in the fossil record. In: Godfrey, L. R. (ed.), Scientists Confront Creationism, New York: W. W. Norton, pp. 193-218.
Morton, Glenn R. 2000. Phylum level evolution. http://home.entouch.net/dmd/cambevol.htm
Pojeta, John Jr. and Dale A. Springer. 2001. Evolution and the Fossil Record, Alexandria, VA: American Geological Institute, http://www.agiweb.org/news/spot_06apr01_evolutionbk.htm , http://www.agiweb.org/news/evolution.pdf , pg. 2.Morton, Glenn R., 1997. Fish to amphibian transition. http://home.entouch.net/dmd/transit.htm
Babinski, E. T., 2003. Cetacean evolution (whales, dolphins, porpoises) http://www.edwardtbabinski.us/babinski/whale_evolution.html
Sutera, Raymond, 2001. The origin of whales and the power of independent evidence. Reports of the National Center for Science Education 20(5): 33-41. http://www.talkorigins.org/features/whales/Clarke, J. A. and M. A. Norell, 2002. The morphology and phylogenetic position of Apsaravis ukhaana from the late Cretaceous of Mongolia. American Museum Novitates 3387: 1-46. http://diglib1.amnh.org/novitates/i0003-0082-3387-01-0001.pdf
Chiappe, L. M., S. Ji, Q. Ji and M. A. Norell, 1999. Anatomy and systematics of the Confuciusornithidae (Theropoda: Aves) from the Late Mesozoic of northeastern China. Bulletin of the American Museum of Natural History 242: 1-89. http://diglib1.amnh.org/bulletins/i0003-0090-242-01-0001.pdf
Flank, Lenny, 1995. The Therapsid--mammal transitional series. http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/2437/therapsd.htm
Theobald, Douglas, 2004. 29+ evidences for macroevolution, part 1: The unique universal phylogenetic tree: http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/comdesc/section1.html#morphological_intermediatesWhite, T., 2002b. Palaeos Vertebrates 420.300: Mammaliformes: Symmetrodonta. http://www.palaeos.com/Vertebrates/Units/Unit420/420.300.html
Hunt, Kathleen, 1995. Horse evolution. http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/horses/horse_evol.html
Wood, T. C. and D. P. Cavanaugh, 2003. An evaluation of lineages and trajectories as baraminological membership criteria. Occas. Papers of the BSG 2: 1-6. http://www.bryancore.org/bsg/opbsg/002.html
Dilcher, David, 2000. Toward a new synthesis: major evolutionary trends in the angiosperm fossil record. Proceedings of the National Academy of Science USA 97: 7030-7036. http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/13/7030
I regret to inform you that your creationist sources have lied to you. They lie a lot. If I were you, I'd be very angry at being lied to by them, and being made a fool of by them. I would also be extremely skeptical of any of the rest of their claims. Many of the other assertions you've made on this and other threads -- which you undoubtedly got from the same dishonest sources -- are dead wrong as well.
Anti-evolution creationists are the Michael Moores of conservatism.
That was supposed to link to Speciation by Punctuated Equilibrium.
The state of the evidence will be what it is whether what you say accurately describes it or not. Thus far, you have not described it accurately. Will that change in your case? I have almost never observed creationists responding rationally to the real world.
"If she ain't good enough for her own kin then she ain't good enough for us", or some othe bastardization of that old joke :-)
I bet you would be first in line to say the Bible tells you how to think and act ...
[Thunderous applause!]
Will you quit with the thunderous applause - it's shaking up the electrons. Give him a smiley face or a gold star. It's all he deserves.
Polite applause
This is still in news/activism? It must have slipped under the creationist radar.
Your use of the past tense tells me you have more faith in her reformation than I have.
This is why creationists object to the 'tree of life' It's because, in their families it ain't a tree, it's more like a web.
faux-IrishCatholic gave it a good shot. I was sure. as soon as the excretory references started, that it was doomed.
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