Posted on 10/17/2005 7:21:55 AM PDT by Millee
Brother Kenneth Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons; pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo; fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000- word letter to parents.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is, rather, the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake - in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
"Each year, it gets worse - becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (The school) is willing to sponsor a prom but not an orgy."
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
"I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back, and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding costs: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500- student school.
"I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts."
Some parents picking up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
"The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview, N.Y. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."
I've lived my entire life in a predominantly Catholic city, which is also predominantly liberal Democratic with all the artificial fronts and rationalization of relativistic morals that go with liberalism.
The fact that these parents send their kids to a Catholic school yet encourage Hollywood-like morals as a lifestyle is no surprise to me. It's the same thing I've witnessed all my life.
I did not attend my prom. I saw it as a tremendous waste of money to go and spend $1000+ to watch girls get drunk and have the sex they were waiting to have as soon as they got out of a Catholic school. A girl next to me (who did get pregnant at her prom) attended it in a big shiny white limosuine. I remember thinking that limos were for big time execs and weddings.
might be some of that, but if the partying goes on afterwards at a house rented by one of the parents, that is where liability would end up.
you can leave the catholic bashing out, thanks.
I'm as much a capitalist as the next guy. I don't resent the financial success of folks, and believe everyone has the right to spend their money however they want.
I'm also a big believer in calling the ball when folks act like jerks. Ostentatious shows of wealth are usually indicators of show-offs with bad manners and bad taste -- in short, jerks. It's like holding-in a fart until you're in a crowded elevator. Do I think there should be a law against it? No. Do I think the guy who waits until he's in a crowded elevator to rip off a big stinky, is a jerk? Yep.
In the same way, I think that wealthy folks who make a show of their wealth for show's sake, in this case by overindulging their teen-age kids, are jerks. My favorite kinds of wealthy people are those who, if you didn't know them fairly well, you'd never know they were any more "wealthy" than the average joe. A religious school has the responsibility to teach the Christian morals on this, basically that humility and modesty, regardless of personal wealth, are wise and Godly.
You wrote that the principal basically said that "spending money on a party and showing off is worse than the drugs/booze/sex. This just sounds like something from the rat agenda." However, I see a subtle difference here. The RAT agenda is based on envy and class warefare. The Christian agenda is based on humility.
The display of wealth IS bad when you are talking about teeangers. In fact, I believe its bad when you're talking about anyone "displaying" wealth. No, I'm not saying that government should prevent people from displaying their wealth, but I do think its a serious moral failing just like the sex and booze.
i disagree. i can assure you that the catholic schools my kids attend have far more discipline going on in them than the vaunted northern VA public schools (which academically are the tops in the nation). they will BOOT the bad ones. public schools don't have that luxury. but irresponsible parents send their kids to both private and public schools. the schools cannot overcome negligent parenting.
Our 16-yr old daughter just had her homecoming last Saturday. When asked by one of the other moms if she was going to the after prom party and sleep-over, my wife said she knew nothing of it. Our daughter didn’t even bother asking us because she knew the answer before asking. The other mom wasn’t letting her daughter go and was happy she’s not the only ‘mean parent’ in town.
The last thing we as parents are concerned about is being cool to our kids.
Now mom and dad are 100% responsible for facilitating the aftermath.
The school is no longer an excuse for parents to excuse their offspring reveling in recreational sex. (or for mom and dad to live vicariously)
I don't think this principal is long for his job, but God bless him!
Thanks for posting the letters frogjerk. If after reading just this one sentence these Christian Catholic parents don't get the meaning behind the cancellation of the prom...it would be prudent for them to save their money on tuition and get their precious children to a public high school...where they will still be able to have a prom orgy.
STeve is right, warren. it isn't so tough if you are raising them as they go along to see the folly in that kind of stuff. my oldest will be 17 yo next week and she would never dream of even WANTING to do something like that. she is, if anything, judgmental of her peers for their drinking and sexual exploits and makes no secret of it. luckily she has a group of friends that have the same outlook, but they are by far the minority.
So you belong to the school of thought that facts that offend anyone are "hate speech" and should not be part of any discussion, eh?
Tough. I was a Catholic and will speak of my experience when it's appropriate, without your pre-approval.
oh ok, you go ahead and generalize to include all catholics in your sweeping statements. that will speak for itself.
"At least at the local public school the kids didn't drive better cars than the teachers!"
You're not very familiar with the Great Neck Public Schools, are you?
Ping.
Which is why we're homeschooling.
The history of the parochial school system is interesting. Following the passage of compulsory attendance laws in the 1860s that were designed to force the children of Irish Catholic immigrants into the Protestant "public" schools, Catholics started their own school system. Unfortunately, they adopted the same inhuman Prussian system that the public schools had adopted.
As long as the schools were run by nuns, the schools did some good, since the nuns stressed grammar (logic) and religion. Now that the schools are largely lay run, they're often indistinguishable from government schools.
"To the people who like to idealize Catholic schools, I can speak from experience. You get the same garbage there that you do in public schools, only there's more money involved."
I disagree with you. If you want to suggest that kids do stupid stuff and have parties and drink underaged etc., well then yes. As a Catholic High School Grad, I can state that the largest difference is the parental attitude and support for the school. I never saw drugs in 4 years at my highschool. I never heard of any orgies. Parents did not buy boozes, drugs or anything of the sort. We got caught by the police one time for an organized food fight in a school parking lot. It was a big deal and our principle told us to have the food fight in our own school lot the next time. Drinking parties, yes. I am sure drugs/sex/etc. happens and am sure that examples can be cited. There are stereo typical expectations that Catholic School critics have of Catholic School Students. So when one of "these kids" get caught, critics jump at the opportunity to point out how "bad" those Catholic kids are. I know, because a married one of these critics. And are kids are still going to Catholic Schools.
Sounds like you've witnessed a lot of hypocrisy and cafeteria catholicism.
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