LOL, your dog sounds a lot like mine. Hunter brought home a girlfriend, a large black/white mix of unknown origin, and takes care of her all the time. I think someone dumped her in our area. I tried to put her out repeatedly but she wouldn't leave, so we adopted her. Hunter frets over her and takes care of her all the time.
Both of them are at least 75 pounds, all of it bone and muscle, and yet at the first sound of thunder, I get two very large lapdogs on top of me ;)
Great post...lol...I have a 94 pounder (Bernese Mtn Dog) who thinks she is lap dog when she hears thunder, firecrackers or knows we are at the drive-thru at the bank where dog bones often miraculously appear in the tube container.
Our 34 pounder ( a mix, we call her an all-American dog ) never thinks she is a lap dog because she knows we howl (usually in pain, lol) when our big gal tries to move onto a lap.