Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
Whether she planned it or not, it should not be his responsibility.
The woman agreed to have sex with him.
She must have known that having sex with a man might get her pregnant.
Just like a woman who agrees to have sex with a leper must know that she might get sick.
Her catching pregnancy should no more be the responsibility of the man than her catching leprosy.
This business of courts seeing it as the man's responsibility is government's way of escaping welfare payments.
It's not about what's right. It's about the money.
You sound swell - alot like the gentleman I am currently seeing.
Now that means something to me, "swell" I mean.
Today, if I was to tell a woman she was "swell" she'd
think I was a rube.
What do you all play?
I used to play Mt.Dulcimore, and was apprenticed to a
man in Seattle and learned to make them, but later decided
to make blacksmithing my career and it is very hard on your
hands so now don't play. After thirty years of hot iron,
my hands give me a little trouble.
I believe you have mislabled your point entirely. The point is not that he 'needs to change' so much as ee needs to CARE. I would be the first one to cheer her on for getting out of an unfulfilling and unloving relationship, however never in My most understanding moments would I be encouraging her to complain that he 'had to change' by however grudgingly doing those 'little things' you just mentioned. If he just does not care for her enough to take care of here and appreciate her, it is not his 'changing' that is going to make it all work out in the end. Moreover, why in the name of all that is Holy would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who does not care for you? If, however, she had merely decided that after all those years of marriage she could no longer stand to watch the same programs on the telly he did or him not attempting to make more of himself at his job so that they could get some of the more expensive Finer Things In Life, then I have absolutely no sympathy. From all that you say, that is not the case in this instance and I for one encourage her to find someone that will truly love her. I would warn anyone, however to be cautious in such matters, as things are not always as they seem...
Admonitions to live in a "best case scenario" seem pretty pointless.
One thing I appreciate about the Catholic Church is they don't use the Holy Spirit as a philosophical "fairy godmother" that promises to correct any practical deficiencies in the implementaion of sound doctrine.
One may not like their answers, but they at least have the benefit of coming from some measure of practical experience as well as Scriptural doctrine.
Honestly,
She's not the least bit interested in 'falling in love'.
Most women I know in her age range really aren't looking to get married again. All she wants is "to have some peace". Perspective changes as you get older, I think, and being alone isn't nearly as terrifying as being with someone that doesn't love you.
I agree with you, anyone, male or female who ends a marriage for frivilous reasons will never be happy in life.
You can have all the head knowledge of scripture; however, until you (not you personally, but any person) realizes that it is Christ in you--that is your hope of glory--then you will continually fail to live out the Christian life by trying to bear good fruit in your own strength.
You may not believe it, but one of the great waypoints of my marriage was when I explicitly informed my wife Moses never came down off the mountain with a commandment giving her authority to declare which was the "proper" position for the toilet seat.
Obviously, this is just a sample, but it was a titannic struggle to convince her she did not get to unilaterally "define reality."
I've always wondered why, with the advent of Roe v. Wade, no one went after this practice on the Constitutional grounding of the "equal protection" clause.
It seems to me, inherently unjust for the woman to have "reproductive choice" from the time she finds out she's pregnant until the actual birth, yet men are stridently commanded (particularly by women) to make that choice before she's even pregnant.
I've heard that formula preached for better than twenty-five years. How is it markedly different from the "name-it-and-claim-it" fad of the eighties?
I most emphatically repudiate this position from the outset. When we first met, I did not even speak much to the woman who eventually became My fiance for at least six months, because My previous girlfriend had indeed decided to make Me chase her to show My interest. As soon as I noticed the game playing the relationship came to an end. My fiance actually made the first move; called Me up out of the blue and invited Me to lunch. I was initially quite reluctant but she presented it in such an innocuous manner that I finally decided to accept her offer. I told Myself that it was a simple lunch, nothing more.
The next six months were like a whirlwind had struck Me. She just became such an integral part of My life that we became closer and closer as time went by. Although she never got on her knees or anything like that, she did tell Me specifically that marriage to Me was indeed her dream and we needed to discuss it when the time came. Keep in mind that I was an extremely well-trained individual at the time, Biker as well as an Electronics Technician, and worked out religiously. She was literally the kind of woman that guys walked into doors and lampposts and tripped over fire hydrants over, so it was not as if she was lacking for any attention if she wanted it. We discussed it once or twice, and she told Me that she just knew that she wanted to have a life with Me. The fact that she was doing the pursuing did not make Me disregard her in the slightest, on the contrary, I was rather flattered and appreciated the fact that games were not necessary with her.
Good point, thanks.
Barabajagall- why should I be punished because some guy is so insecure he can't handle what kind of car I drive? I think thats his problem, not mine. :)
oops sorry Barabajagall- I had the wrong name in my post to you- but I was speaking to you. :)
No I did not and that is disgusting. I think there is a HUGE problem with the way that men are treated in the courts of this country overall. Situations like this, as well as having to support children that are not theirs--there are several cases I have heard of where the women screwed around, got pregnant, didn't tell their husbands that the child was not theirs and when the husbands found out and divorced them, the courts forced the men to pay for the children even though they were not theirs. That is nothing but wrong and I can certainly see where men would be hesitant to trust women and the courts in this day and age.
Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. I was only 4 years old in 1968...but I know a swell guy when I see one. Any woman who'd think you were a rube isn't worthy of you. She's obviously not paying attention to the good stuff.
I play the fiddle. I love to play blues, and also play western swing (Bob Wills is Still the King), old time fiddle tunes, traditional cajun, bluegrass and the occasional zydeco tune, too.
My beau plays the harmonica - and has a wonderful baritone voice.
Dulcimers are beautiful instruments. I love to play the old time tunes with a dulcimer and a banjo present.
OK I am going to reply to two posts at once with this one LOL!
Polybius, thanks for your input. The funny thing about those plates- I had put down "lawgirl" as my insider Freeper reference on my plates application not expecting to get it- I actually had 4 other possibilities that I expected to get. I know that's neither here nor there, but there it is. :) I think it might make people drive more carefully around me too! LOL!
The other more funny thing about your post to me Polybius is how the internet does not reflect real life. Actually, I keep my status as an attorney on the low down in real life- most people do not find out I am an attorney until they've known me awhile. (After all, how many people do you really know what they drive? hehe) I actually had a woman I work with for over a year just find out I was an attorney and she was floored. (I consider that a compliment!) And as far as the divorce courts go- outside of child issues I disagree with you. You should ask my ex-husband who decided to leave me--I did all of his paperwork for him even though I did not want the divorce. Not all women and not all lawyers are sharks. He is getting a very sweet deal in the whole thing.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.