Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
I am very sorry about your bad experiences. Note, though, what I said: If you want a good man or woman, join a good church.
Not any church, but a good church. It takes a bit of time and effort to find a good church.
I don't blame all women due to a few jokers.
An man that is afraid of a woman because of her position in a company isn't a real man. I don't judge a man by what kind of job he has. I don't expect to be judged that way, either. LOL! Maybe that is why I have not had a date in a year.
I have no idea where you got that concept, but that sadly is not the case. Females of all ages have asked Me that quesion, and after all they are all girls at heart and even address each other that way. One even told Me point blank when I mentioned that I worked as an Engineer in Silicon Valley; "Oh, so you could take REAL good care of me!". Such blatent mercenary attitudes are the main reason why I am still unattached to this day, lol, despite the offers. Other than (reportedly) Hollywood, I have never before in My life met so many women whose main goal was to separate a man from his monetary assets as I did working in that Valley, and although the majority of women I have met in the ensuing years are spread across a wider base than I was meeting in those days, sadly the instincts appear to be similar for the most part if not as all-encompassing as I previously witnessed.
Just happened to be that I inherited this.
Good old Scotch Irish blood, you know the ones. Blazed a trail through some wilderness.
Mean as a striped snake.
And good too, a good woman.
I guess God just blessed me with the abilty to shut UP now and GO TO bed.
I doubt it. There are a lot of nutcases out there.
Yeah. Like THAT would ever happen. Women are so used to combating men in the workplace that they would never stoop to demeaning themselves by enguaging in anything other than workplace efforts. If it's not Corporate, it's Not Counting, seems to be the modern standard. I recall not too long ago reading about one woman who had written in to advice column that she just could not seem to find a man. Her friends were advising her that perhaps she was just a bit too intimidaging and that tended to turn men away, but she complained that that did not seem to stop the truck drivers and busboys from asking her out. I nearly busted a gut laughing at the total cluelessness of the woman. Obviously, if you are at all blue-collar then don't waste your time approaching her; your bank account is not nearly large enough to feed her appitites, lol.
Yeah. Like THAT would ever happen. Women are so used to combating men in the workplace that they would never stoop to demeaning themselves by enguaging in anything other than workplace efforts. If it's not Corporate, it's Not Counting, seems to be the modern standard. I recall not too long ago reading about one woman who had written in to advice column that she just could not seem to find a man. Her friends were advising her that perhaps she was just a bit too intimidating and that tended to turn men away, but she complained that that did not seem to stop the truck drivers and busboys from asking her out. I nearly busted a gut laughing at the total cluelessness of the woman. Obviously, if you are at all blue-collar then don't waste your time approaching her; your bank account is not nearly large enough to feed her appetites, lol.
Ooops! Sorry for the double post. Finger slipped.
LOLOL!!!
-but only from men with a sufficiently large bank account, that can take care of her for the rest of her life.....
Spot on!
A man likes to know that he can provide for his family and that he will be respected and looked up to for being a good provider, husband, and father, and will be there for the long run. Too often, women throw off the attitude that they can do just fine without the man there, so what makes you think that that is somehow an incentive for a man to pursue such a one? If he is looked down upon, then there really is no reason to continue on when you think about it. Who wants to expend all their efforts upon a relationship and an individual who in all likelihood is just going to move on as soon as she thinks it is just too much effort to make the relationship or marriage work? Especially when she casually discounts the male's importance in her life?
Fog24 is a gal, not a guy.
Don't be so sure. I ask what kind of car a guy drives for the same reason guys ask guys...cause I like cars! And because cars are an extension of a person's identity; you can tell a lot about a person by the car they drive and how they care for it.
Understood, but from where I stand you are hardly painting yourself as a model of contemporary womanhood. You might think about listening to what we men are saying, and I mean that with all due respect and seriousness. Far too many of your gender are alienating us in this 'Feministic' day and age, and the destruction of the nuclear family standard which all true men aspire to in their hearts is the result.
Men pursue women who signal their availability and interest. Personally speaking, I always look for clues that a woman might be interested before going over to talk to her. Why waste time, and risk very abusive rejection, on a woman who is not obviously receptive? I'm not some touchy-feely sensitive type, either. But rejection is painful, and repeated rejection (especially when it is harsh) is more so. It's kind of funny that, while a man should be expected to act like a gentleman (which I agree with wholeheartedly), a woman can be as catty or insulting as she likes (certainly not the way ladies used to react to unwanted attention), and the man should just suck it up.
The company I now work for specifically prohibits fraternization with any client employee or company coworker!And they mean going bowling with the other guys as well as dating the girls.
I really need a different employer.
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