What are you on crack? NY has the best pizza in the world. Of course since the Hindus and Albanians have taken over the places in Manhattan, you have to look more, but even the sh-t pizza at places like Famous Famiglia are better than the crap I used to get in Chicago (although Gino's East was very good).
For Chi Town pizza, try Bacino's on Lincoln. That'll get the job done. Chicago was responsible for me putting on 20lbs while on a 7 month internship, and that was with riding everyday, walking everywhere, playing on the champion Architecture league soccer team, and high intesity bar hopping!
If these people are offended by "Ghetto Fries", I hope they don't stop in at the Weiner Circle hot dog joint @ 3am, where foul launguage is as plentiful as the nuke green relish!