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Churches confront an 'elephant in the pews' (porn addiction)
Christian Science Monitor ^ | 8/25/05 | Jane Lampman

Posted on 08/24/2005 2:59:33 PM PDT by Crackingham

On a blustery day early this year, 13,000 people showed up at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Mich., for what became known as "Porn Sunday." Two young California pastors with a website called XXXchurch.com - "the No. 1 Christian porn site" - were in town with a silence-breaking message. Their frank talk about the struggles many Christians are having with pornography has drawn huge crowds in several churches across the country, and now the Revs. Craig Gross and Mike Foster are planning National Porn Sunday for Oct. 9.

"We were tired of hearing stories about people's lives being wrecked, and feeling they had nowhere to go in the church to get help," says Mr. Gross. He and Mr. Foster hope to engage 200 churches in talking openly about "America's dirty little secret" and are offering resources to help them initiate healing programs for their congregations.

While some consider the pastors' efforts controversial, many religious leaders recognize they need help on how to talk about this "elephant in the pews." Surveys show that 40 million Americans regularly view Internet pornography, which accounts for $2.5 billion of the $12 billion US porn industry. Some 25 percent of search-engine requests are porn-related; 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women admit accessing porn at work.

For years, churches were in denial about the scope of the problem, but the toll on marriages, careers, and faith communities has grown, Christian leaders say. And it involves not only congregants, but pastors.

In a 2001 survey published in Leadership Journal, 37 percent of pastors said pornography was a struggle for them, and 51 percent admitted it was a temptation.

"For 25 years, I would have said that the pro-life issue is the most pressing threat to America morally, but pornography has overtaken it," says the Rev. Richard Land, a prominent leader in the Southern Baptist Convention, the largest US Protestant denomination. "More people's lives are being destroyed on a daily basis by addiction to pornography than through abortion."

Douglas Weiss, a counselor with divinity and psychology degrees, speaks at churches of many denominations on sexuality issues. "Wherever I am ... and no matter what the denomination, at least half of the men in the church admit to being sexually addicted," he says. Based on his experience, "The clergy don't differ that much from the general population - between a third to half."


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Philosophy; US: Michigan
KEYWORDS: addiction; biblechurch; christians; grandrapids; marshill; megachurch; p0rn; pornography; pornsunday
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To: rwfromkansas

I hear he goes to AVN parties and sets up a table. Porn people actually pick up stuff from his table. Weird.


61 posted on 08/24/2005 5:20:45 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: PeteB570

We all fail. Nobody is "good."

Our righteousness, even among the ones that may seem the most righteous, are as filthy rags.

Porn is a big struggle for a lot of Christian men at my school.

Even one of the most amazing Christians I know, a former roommate of mine from South Korea, had porn on his computer that I found one day to my shock. I would never have imagined he struggled with it.


62 posted on 08/24/2005 5:20:50 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=rwfromkansas)
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To: Ronzo

My suggestion is to get more involved in the congregation yourself, and not to dwell so much on the (lackluster) preaching. As I was pointing out to Mister Diddy, there's more reason for being in a congregation than simply that you like the preacher's preaching.

And while I am not accusing you of this, the ancient Christians (as represented by the early Church Fathers) regarded the attitude that "I'm not getting anything out of church attendance" as an indication of the spiritual sin of Sloth, the "noonday demon," wanting more out of the community than they are willing to put in, etc.


63 posted on 08/24/2005 5:22:10 PM PDT by The Grammarian
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To: Mister_Diddy_Wa_Diddy

Amen.

I attend the Reformed Presbyterian Church. I love it.


64 posted on 08/24/2005 5:22:33 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=rwfromkansas)
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To: Crackingham

The reason it's a problem is because many Christians are taught that they are free to violate God's laws, the 10 commandments. Porn falls under the heading of adultery. If we truly let Christ live in and through us he will not violate his fathers commandment. If we go along for the ride and let Christ work in us, neither will we.


65 posted on 08/24/2005 5:24:24 PM PDT by DouglasKC
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To: cyborg

He has gone to porn festivals and set up a booth there. How he doesn't get tempted to go visit the other booths and view the stuff, I don't know.


66 posted on 08/24/2005 5:24:27 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=rwfromkansas)
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To: sine_nomine
Multitasking is your friend. LOL
67 posted on 08/24/2005 5:25:14 PM PDT by TheForceOfOne (The alternative media is our Enigma machine.)
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To: Mister_Diddy_Wa_Diddy

---Porn is selfish and self obsorbed..--

So was my last girlfriend, who was VERY religious


68 posted on 08/24/2005 5:25:30 PM PDT by Loud Mime (War is Mankind's way of ridding the world of the tyranny caused by liberalism)
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To: rwfromkansas

Obvious he's not looking or it would be all over the place. I remember when the guy that was in charge of Focus on the Family's Love Won Out, ex-gay ministry was reported to be sitting in a gay bar. Oh boy.


69 posted on 08/24/2005 5:26:10 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: Ronzo; Crackingham
They don't care about the lack of teaching [in the church], they just don't want to say goodbye to their friends...

I'm no hlier-than-thou church-lady critic, but I really have got to wonder what the heck that means. Is Church just a social hour (or three) after all?

70 posted on 08/24/2005 5:33:21 PM PDT by sam_paine (X .................................)
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To: buccaneer81

Actaully I probably misspoke. I think it's "tweens" who are not having sex, but having Monica hookups.


71 posted on 08/24/2005 5:56:54 PM PDT by spycatcher
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To: Nita Nupress
What's his definition of being "sexually addicted,"

Waking up 3 or more mornings per week with a woody?

72 posted on 08/24/2005 6:21:41 PM PDT by Lester Moore (islam's allah is Satan and is NOT the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.)
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To: rwfromkansas
How he doesn't get tempted to go visit the other booths and view the stuff, I don't know.Often, the biggest crusader against this kind of stuff is driven by their own problems with said stuff. Inner guilt and selfloathing fuel their machinations to quench the external input.
73 posted on 08/24/2005 6:30:29 PM PDT by Lester Moore (islam's allah is Satan and is NOT the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.)
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To: rwfromkansas
How he doesn't get tempted to go visit the other booths and view the stuff, I don't know.

Often, the biggest crusader against this kind of stuff is driven by their own problems with said stuff. Inner guilt and selfloathing fuel their machinations to quench the external input.

74 posted on 08/24/2005 6:31:32 PM PDT by Lester Moore (islam's allah is Satan and is NOT the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.)
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To: Mister_Diddy_Wa_Diddy
You should try one of the Reformed churches,

He should only try another church if it was preordained from eternity past that he would try another church. Otherwise he should do some other preordained thing.

And a man only has a problem with porn or having brown eyes if it was preordained from eternity past, before they were born, that they would have the porn problem or brown eyes.

75 posted on 08/24/2005 6:37:22 PM PDT by Lester Moore (islam's allah is Satan and is NOT the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.)
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To: Mr. Mojo

I'm in the business (search, not porn). It's true.


76 posted on 08/24/2005 6:42:45 PM PDT by Spike Spiegel
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To: The Ghost of FReepers Past

Pray we can get rid of the income tax. It stops the pastors from speaking out on government, or else they lose their tax free status......


77 posted on 08/24/2005 6:48:53 PM PDT by AmericanDave (God bless .......and MORE COWBELL)
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To: cyborg
I wonder why so many married couples have men with porn issues.

I wonder why so many married couples have men with porn issues. Is it because of past premarital sex? Or the woman who doesn't want to have any when she's older because of menopause? Or the young,nubile images as compared to a wife who has had a few kids and over forty?

It's a combination of things.  I'll rattle off a few that come to mind, speaking from the man's point of view.

The wife don't want sex anymore.  I'm tired of begging.  And waiting. She's gained all that weight. It's risky -- "forbidden" even. I'll just take a look once, then I won't ever do it again.  No one will ever know. It feels good. It's free. It's easily accessible. It doesn't want all that foreplay first.  It doesn't want polite conversation afterwards. It's anonymous. It "doesn't hurt anybody." It's "better than having affairs." It's sexy --- much sexier than the wife is now after 3 kids.  It's kinky... she won't do kinky. I want kinky.  I deserve kinky, dammit. It never has a headache.  It's ready when I am. It doesn't care if I'm sloppy. It doesn't care if I can't get it up.  The wife pays more attention to the kids now than she does me. I don't have to shower first.  It doesn't get grossed out by my 3-month old toe jam like she does.  The wife won't even do oral sex, much less something a little more 'out there.' I don't have to snuggle and all that crap afterwards; I can smoke a cigarette, expel flatulence, then crawl into bed and go to sleep instead.
I'm just getting started. ;-)
78 posted on 08/24/2005 8:06:37 PM PDT by Nita Nupress
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To: Nita Nupress

Yeah :D


79 posted on 08/24/2005 8:09:16 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: Crackingham

I've actually seen that Scion tooling around Laguna Beach and wondered what was up with that, whether it was actually a really twisted porn site. Hey, whatever works. Anybody who can work a reference to the oralse.cx "Please think about the kittens" parody PSA into an anti-porn ministry is my kind of guy.


80 posted on 08/24/2005 8:25:35 PM PDT by RichInOC (...although I was disappointed that Pete the Puppet didn't have hairy palms and dark glasses.)
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