[najida]

My parents marriage was very dark and twisted (in the guise of 'traditional' marriage) with my mother being the doormat/housekeeper/parent and my dad being the pervy king of the castle. He made it abundantly clear that 'she' was his and we were usable and disposable. Toss in a little bit of religious zeal, an insane granny and it bordered on living in a Taliban like world.

Anyhow, my job was to help mom around the house, my brothers (and often mine and mom's) jobs were to help in the fields and on the farm. It was exhausting work. Made even worse because no matter how much we did, it was never enough. I grew up with images of trembling and crying near total collapse at the end of the day, trying to get the last of chores done. With my Dad yelling for her to come do something for him.

Maybe that's why I hate housework so much ;). Maybe that's why I have to watch other people around me to get a clue on what a 'healthy' marriage is, what a 'loving' father is or a 'normal' family.

I also know, through trial and lots of error, that I have the same degree of talent at being married as I do with housekeeping. Some folks can do it, others can't. I just watch and live vicariously through others.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Be strong najida. If marriage is meant for you it will happen; if not find a way to be happy with "Mr. Right This Minute"!

[Aquinasfan]

Maybe that's why I hate housework so much ;). Maybe that's why I have to watch other people around me to get a clue on what a 'healthy' marriage is, what a 'loving' father is or a 'normal' family.

Thanks for passing on this painful story. I come from the opposite direction, having been raised in a loving "Ozzie and Harriet" family. Stories like yours help me to realize how good I had it.