Why Women Must Change Too if we are to Rescue Marriage

The Financial Times ^ | July 5, 2005 | Richard Tomkins

[HitmanLV]

Actually I am in a minority of Freeper men in that I think that dividing marital property upon divorce is fine. A lot of men (Freeper and otherwise) look at marital property as 'ours' when times are good and 'mine' when times go bad.

That's silly, as I have said many times on FR. Once you get married, it all becomes 'ours.' If after 8 years my honey decides she would rather take naps with the UPS guy than me, well what can I say - I'd be mad, upset, angry, etc, but I'd still be standing.

In that case, or any case, each party gets 1/2 of the marital property, which is to say they get 100% of the portion they already owned, anyway. It's fair, if unseemly at times.

Men who are bitter about this have no sympathy from me. Seems to me like a small price to pay to get ride of someone (legally) who is distracting you and holding you back.

[durasell]

Wait, something just hit me -- I don't go to the east 50s very often -- is Kaufman's Pharmacy still there?

[HitmanLV]

Whoa! I like to use the word 'escorts,' or 'call girls,' or after a drink or two, maybe 'party girls.' I find the word 'prostitute' so...judgmental. ;-)

[MaxMax]

More people having more sex with more people. This is an obvious and observable trend

With the Population growth since the 50-60's, no doubt there is more.
It's easily expected with population growth that the numbers would be higher.

As such, nothing has changed sexually. What has changed, is relationships.
And the teachings of relationships. Back in the day's children were taught
respectfully to marry and have children. Now, it's taught in schools to Explore
and find themselves.

An unnecessary evil created by the liberal colleges that teachers are born from.

Sexuality has been exploited by the minorty. And it's own sick twisted way,
become mainstream.

Perversion..

[HitmanLV]

I dunno where is (or was) it, exactly?

[durasell]

I think my point was -- back in the day it was more accepted. Today there's a stigma attached to using escorts. Old guys I've met still talk fondly of going to Pauline's (is that the right name?) over in west 50s during the the 1940s in groups of a half dozen or more.

[xVIer]

I am 40...if something happened and I am suddenly single and most men thought like you I'd be looking at being lonely forever...is this supposed to make me feel better? Is this a reason to back off from wanting equal pay, etc.? au contrere! I damn well better fight for my rights ! B/c of my age I doubt I'll ever find another man...woe is me...(NOT!!!)

[durasell]

Kaufman's was in the 50s on Lex. It was where Dustin Hoffman goes to get palm oil in Marathon Man...old quaint place. Duane Reade probably put them out of business. I'll have to check...

[HitmanLV]

Hey, how would I know what that bordello was called? :-)

I hear you, though. I think it was more accepted, especially out west as you noted. In fact, its still more accepted out west (I live in Las Vegas, nuff said).

I like to talk with old timers too and they have a matter-of-fact approach to the issue, so you are right in that regard.

[HitmanLV]

What did I say that was so off putting? I was speaking of my worldview - I don't doubt that there are plenty of men out there for women of all ages in every stage of their life.

I'm just not that man, that's all. ;-)

[HitmanLV]

DR would be is damn close - like 49th or so on 3rd. I used to work at 900 Third Ave just down the lane, and later on 599 Lex just around the corner.

[durasell]

Kaufman's is still in business. I found it on a web travel guide.

Pauline's (or whatever it was called) was a landmark in its day. It was also a speakeasy whose main competitor was the 21 Club. I've seen old guys' eyes get misty when talking about the place.

[durasell]

You worked over by Clarke's then -- as an FYI, they opened a new dining room upstairs.

[HitmanLV]

Hey, I'm getting misty-eyed talking about the place, and I'm 37 and never been there! ;-)

[xVIer]

but also about the expanded choices us men have. The truth is, I'd rather deal with a smart, good, tough, ballbusting woman of 25 rather than a good, smart, tough, ballbusting woman of 35 or 40. I really can't see how, all else being comparable, anybody in their right mind would choose otherwise.

[HitmanLV]

I explictly said 'anyone in their right mind.' Clearly, there are many men out there out of their minds. They would be for those older women. See, I didn't suggest there would be nobody for people in that spot.

[Rca2000]

I have said this before, now, I will say it again. I believe that feminism started for LEGITIMATE reasons, back in the day. Reasons, such as(1) right to vote, (2) equal pay, ( I mean if two people are doing the SAME job, equally well, they SHOULD be paid the same, REGARDLESS of sex(now, a situation where things are "fixed", in which one person is merely a 'token" employee, and someone else, does that persons work for them BUT, the other person gets PAID for "just being there", TAHT is $hit.I have been in this situation before, where an Older man, who brown-nosed the boss, but was NOT qualified, got ALL of my work, and I was expected to do HIS work for him, or at least, help him, but HE got paid for the work I did. )

Anyhoo, fair pay, and Voting rights, along with REAL harassment issues, is where feminism grew from . HOWEVER, it is NOT about that anymore, or has it been for a LONG time. Now, it is merely about destroying the nuclear family, putting men into a worthless, demoralized place in society,expanding and protecting abortion, and furthering the gay agenda. (at least this is what the leaders, like NOW, are doing, Hence, my new name for them-- Femilezis"

However, not ALL the blame for marriages "going south', can be placed at women's feet. Sometimes, men do bring things on themselves, or drive a good woman away. I will give 3 situations, where the women are NOT to blame, and the men are "whores,losers, and abusers".

In the first instance, a man, around 53, is currently living with a woman, of similar age. This woman recently underwent a cancer operation, for pancreatic cancer(successful, so far). Now, is this man, being "faithful" with this woman, NO-- he is ONLY using this woman, as a "place to toss his bedroll", and FOR HER MEDICAL NSURANCE, and her money. he goes out of town, on a regular basis, to work, and meets women in bars, for one-nighters,on a regular basis. In the past, this man has been married 4 times, and in EACH case(as I am told, )cheated regularly, until the wives gave up.(rightfully so, NO ONE should be someone's doormat!!)

In another case, a man, whom I went to school with, is in his second marriage, and is a regular drug-user. His wife generally has to make any money, for the household, because this man CANNOT keep a job, because of this drug problem. Still the wife stays with his(I have been told, "only for the child's sake, they have an 8 year-old son between them)

In the third case, another guy i went to school with, recently underwent his SECOND divorce, because he BEAT UP his wife, and in this case, it WAS true, this guy has ALWAYS been disrespectful, and nasty toward women, and he was in jail for 6 months for this. Now, his wife was a drug-user, as is he, BUT still, I think most of it was HIS fault.


SO, it is NOT "all women's fault", sometimes it is the MAN'S fault. Sometimes it is BOTH spouses fault. More often, both spouses are too selfish, and concerned with "what is in it for me", and when something does not go their way, out the door.

I REALLY do hope this will change. But I think most people, men AND women, are just to selfish, and hard-headed, to want to "compromise", for the needs of another. For men, it is HT, Boats, sports cars, etc, for women, jewelry, clothes, etc, but NEITHER seem to be willing to give a little, so BOTH can be happy.

Oh, and one more thing:; BOTH men and women, should plan to be FAITHFUL, when they enter a marriage. Once you commit to another, that is IT, no more "side dishes", at least, that is the way it should be. It was that way for my parents, and it WILL be that way for me, if my time ever comes.

[HitmanLV]

SO, it is NOT "all women's fault", sometimes it is the MAN'S fault. Sometimes it is BOTH spouses fault. More often, both spouses are too selfish, and concerned with "what is in it for me", and when something does not go their way, out the door.

Yep, and I certainly never suggested otherwise.

[xVIer]

I think you answered your own question twice! I personally don't know why you're so "off-putting"...either its b/c your foot is in your mouth or, even though you deny it, your one of those angry freeper men you spoke of earlier! I can't believe I'm spending so much energy on a man who catagorizes women by age...its not b/c I am old...I would have said the same thing when I was 20!

[HitmanLV]

Nah.