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What makes a good parent
Jerusalem Post ^ | 5-7-05 | Koby Mandell/SHERRI MANDELL

Posted on 05/08/2005 5:59:51 AM PDT by SJackson

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To: William Terrell

I don't view the opinions of a twelve year old as a road map for child rearing, rather reflective of the guidelines he was raised under. In that context, I don't see anything significant here I wouldn't be supportive of.


21 posted on 05/08/2005 7:38:35 AM PDT by SJackson (The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love, Andre Malraux)
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To: Delphinium

Consciencious parents do the best they can. If that is not enough in the child or society's eyes, I view it as the parents did whatever they did to survive an unknown future when they decided to have children. $hit happens and you have to get beyond it. At some point, the child has to sort out and accept that parents are not perfect--that they too will do the best they can and they too will NOT be perfect. The cards will fall where they may. Some kids you cannot ever satisy. I think they have a personal conviction as to what a parent SHOULD be and if the parent did not live up to 'their' expectation then it is the parent that is at fault.


22 posted on 05/08/2005 8:15:10 AM PDT by Snoopers-868th
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To: SJackson
I don't view the opinions of a twelve year old as a road map for child rearing, rather reflective of the guidelines he was raised under. In that context, I don't see anything significant here I wouldn't be supportive of.

The guidelines he wrote reflect how his mother actually raised him? You would support raising a child this way? Really?

23 posted on 05/08/2005 8:20:43 AM PDT by William Terrell (Individuals can exist without government but government can't exist without individuals.)
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To: Trout-Mouth
Consciencious parents do the best they can.

I did it one way, my daughter inlaw's mother did it another way, and they are both spoiled (have more than we ever dreamed)30+ people who feel cheated.

I think some must be born that way?
24 posted on 05/08/2005 8:21:43 AM PDT by Delphinium
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To: Trout-Mouth; Delphinium
delphinium -- Right now I am having a difficult relationship with my 31 year old, and I think alot of his resentment, which is pretty much unfounded comes from when he was 12 and I was too busy to do some of these things.

Trout-Mouth -- I think they have a personal conviction as to what a parent SHOULD be and if the parent did not live up to 'their' expectation then it is the parent that is at fault.

When I was a teenager I saw an article in a magazine that I refused to read because I was oh-so-highly offended by the title.

Your Parents May Have Made
You What You Are Today,

But It's Your Fault If You Stay That Way.

That dang title has stuck with me for over forty years. It takes a while for some people to grow up and assume responsibility for themselves and their actions. My brother is now 58 and he still blames his problems on everybody else. :-)

25 posted on 05/08/2005 8:49:36 AM PDT by DumpsterDiver
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To: DumpsterDiver

Yea, it is hard to understand survival instinct so we don't surcome to the continued criticism and curl up in a ball is found in parents too.

Life is hard. The best teacher is experience and some parents are not really appreciated until their children have walked the walk AND they will each walk the SAME walk in one way or another. If lucky the parents will still alive so they can confess they NOW UNDERSTAND.


26 posted on 05/08/2005 8:54:47 AM PDT by Snoopers-868th
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To: SJackson
In that context, I don't see anything significant here I wouldn't be supportive of.

My biggest objection is that this says the parents should make sure they do their homework and pay them if they do chores, but other than that, parents should shut up and let the kid do what he/she wants.

27 posted on 05/08/2005 8:56:34 AM PDT by Always Right
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To: SJackson

I've read through the thread before posting.......I have to say I disagree with those saying this child did not have good parental guidance.

The way I read it, is he felt in some ways his parents didn't live up to what he wanted - IOW, probably too strict in the eyes of a 12 year old.

But that's just me.


28 posted on 05/08/2005 9:06:03 AM PDT by Gabz (My give-a-damn is busted.)
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To: Sam Cree; All

The Child asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"  "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how and I going to be able to understand when people talk to me I if don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you the words."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave you now please tell me my angel's name."

"You will simply call her "Mom."

 

29 posted on 05/08/2005 11:33:23 AM PDT by trussell (Prayers for the children!)
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To: DumpsterDiver
Your Parents May Have Made You What You Are Today, But It's Your Fault If You Stay That Way.

I think I will pass this on to some people I know.
30 posted on 05/08/2005 1:48:08 PM PDT by Delphinium
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To: SJackson

"I wish I had yelled less, expected less from him."

I agree that "yelling" or "screaming" is not needed. It only shows the child YOU have lost control. I do neither and she KNOWS I AM IN CONTROL.

"Expected less from him" - how nice. I expect MORE and I get it. I require it. I don't want a dumbed down spoiled brat who is lazy and thinks others owe them something.


31 posted on 05/08/2005 5:18:18 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: William Terrell

"How to create a spoiled brat."

You're kind. Other words come to mind ... .


32 posted on 05/08/2005 5:19:14 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: William Terrell

Apparently the mother never grew up.


33 posted on 05/08/2005 5:19:53 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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To: All
Every kid is different. You cannot treat all kids the same.

There are kids who want to be in rock bands when they grow up, there are those who want to join the Marines, army, navy, air force, become a doctor, maybe a football player. Each will have different goals in life. They will make decisions to help get them closer to this. Some decisions, like whether they want to do drugs or not, can be matter of what they want to be when they grow up. For example, a kid wanting to be a Marine after highschool could probably be given more responsibility than a kid wanting to be in a punk band.

imo

34 posted on 05/08/2005 10:42:39 PM PDT by jjames001 ("The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." ~Edmund Burke)
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To: trussell
What if your 'Mom' was a drunk?

Not much of an angel then...

35 posted on 05/08/2005 10:46:39 PM PDT by jjames001 ("The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." ~Edmund Burke)
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To: jjames001

This was kind of a guide to what makes a good parent. If the parent is a drunk...then they are more than likely not a very good parent.


36 posted on 05/08/2005 10:56:17 PM PDT by trussell (Prayers for the children!)
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To: SouthernFreebird

My children have also been raised with love, respect, and consideration. So far so good.

They are both in the gifted program, are well-mannered and considerate and welcome everywhere.


37 posted on 05/09/2005 3:41:08 AM PDT by Naomi4
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