[EveningStar]

BTW, I liked her speech. And here it is:

Not that old joke. Not again. Ladies and gentlemen, I've been attending these dinners for years, and just quietly sitting there. Well I've got a few things I wanna say for a change. This is going to be fun, because he really doesn't have a clue about what I'm gonna say next.

George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney! He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day: George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later.

I am married to the president of the United States and here's our typical evening. Nine o'clock. Mister excitement here is sound asleep. And I'm watching desperate housewives. With Lynn Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they're desperate, they ought to be with George. One night, after George went to bed, Lynn Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughues and I went to Chippendale's. I wouldn't even mention it, except Ruth Ginsburg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there. I won' tell you what happened, but Lynn's Secret Service codename is now "dollar bill".

But George and I are complete opposites. I'm quiet, he's talkative. I'm introverted, he's extraverted. I can pronounce "nuclear". The amazing thing however is that George and I were just meant to be. I was a librarian who spent twelve hours a day in the library. Yet somehow I met George. We met and married and I became one of the regulars up at Kennebunkport. All the Bushes love Kennebunkport. Which is like Crawford but without the nightlife. People ask me what it's like to be up there with the whole Bush clan. Let me put it this way: first prize: three day vacation with the Bush family. Second price: ten days.

Speaking of prizes brings me to my mother-in-law. So many mothers today are just not involved in their children's lives. Not a problem with Barbara Bush. People often wonder what my mother-in-law is really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly Aunt Bee type. She's actually more like ... hmmm ... Don Corleone. Cedric, am I doing alright?

I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have a real strong ranching program. But I'm proud of George. He has learned a lot about ranching, since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse it was a male horse. Now of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or as the girls call it: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with the chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.

It's always very interesting to see how the ranch air invigorates people when they come down from Washington. Recently, when vice president Cheney was down, he got up early one morning, he put up his hiking boots, and he went on a brisk, 20- to 30-foot walk.

But actually, in all seriousness, I do love the ranch, and I love the whole Bush family. I was an only child, and when I married into the extended Bush clan, I got brothers and sisters and wonderful in-laws all of whom opened their arms to me. And included in the package, I got this guy here. I think when you marry someone, you unconsciously are looking for something in your spouse, to help fulfill something in you. And George did that for me. He brought fun and energy into my life, and so many other things. George is a very good listener, he's easy to be around, and on top of it all, he's a loving father whose daughters absolutely adore him.

So in the future, when you see me just quietly sitting up here, I want you to know I'm happy to be here for a reason: I love and enjoy being with the man who usually speaks to you on these occasions. So George and I thank you for inviting us, thank you for all the good work that you and the press do, and thank you for your very kind hospitality this evening.

[Jokelahoma]

Oh my! How could you post such vile, disgusting filth? How could you squeak that by the censors with all those four letter words and explicit references to sexual activity with farm animals? You are just terrible! You are... uh... you are... um... well, crud. My ability to feign disgust at what was a very funny little speech just isn't holding up.

I guess I'm just glad I don't spend my days with my nose out of joint, actively seeking new ways to be offended, so I can come on here and whine about it. Then again, I can actually laugh, enjoy my life, and be happy. That's a trade-off I'll gladly make again and again.

[WireAndWood]

Having now read the First Lady's speech, I must side with the 'so what?' voices here. Nobody who grew up in the country (with the possible exception of Amish country) would find those comments crude.

While I agree that we have too mush sexualization of everything from the left... these comments are ... nothing. Less than nothing.

I am also continually impressed with the gentle good-natured ability for the Bushes to laugh at themselves, which reveals them to be genuine good-hearted people. Someone in this thread was dead-on when they noted that Hairy Terry Kerry would never be free to make any such jokes about her stuffed-shirt gold-digger husband.

[Rushgrrl]

those that are up in arms 'bout this speech really do need to get a grip. For one thing, all those against the jokes repeatedly quote it as "masturbating" a horse. For one thing?? THAT isn't even said!! Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. I thought it was in perfectly good taste and those that are having palpitations over this REALLY seriously need to take a GOOD look at what she ACTUALLY said and what they think they heard because I am sure it's vastly different. Get off of your pious high horses and consider this bringing a little bit of levity to usual serious business of politics.

[Trimegistus]

Anyone who could find anything objectionable in that speech is almost certainly an undercover DU troll trying to stir up trouble.

I'm not going to fall back on the stupid "it's not offensive compared to Lenny Bruce" argument, nor on the "if you're offended you're uptight" maneuver.

If you're offended, you're an impostor. I would tell those jokes to my grandmother if she was alive. I would tell them to a minister or a nun. If I spoke German I would tell them to Benedict XVI. If my daughter wasn't supposed to be asleep right now I'd tell them to her.

Nobody should be offended because this material just isn't offensive by any standard.

[ntnychik]

Now of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or as the girls call it: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with the chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.

Thanks for supplying the whole script. I hadn't heard this joke and the other one about Cheney on the TV clips, nor had I heard her lovely tribute to her husband and his family. Taken as a whole, her star turn was a stitch.

[Shortstop7]

Thank you for posting that.........

Whew.....really off color, huh? ROFL............

Obviously, some people need more to worry about ... not one thing was offensive in that..........

[petitfour]

Thanks for posting that. I had not read the whole thing, and I didn't see it on tv. In context, the whole thing was just right.