We have an er, ahem, rat in our laundry room, where he's lived in semi-luxury for like a month.
Every night the domestic partner puts out a humane trap, but The Rat won't go far enough in to trip it. Only far enough to get the bait he puts closer to the door.
I have named the rat Marwan. (he'll never be caught)
Marwan will be caught, trust me, being Jacks bud I can tell you first hand Jack will get him like he got Nina Myers, by the way I'm porkin Kim but don't tell Jack O'kay.
Well that is bad, but I had a dead squirrel in the wall behind the dryer. Apparently came in through the dryer vent and got trapped. Has been a month and I still think I smell something "not right". I've taken out the insulation, vacumned in that wall and nothing I can do unless I knock out more walls. We can just not find where anything could be.
Marwan the rat, that is priceless!
I had a big ole rat move in ... back in the day. He was nearly white but with cinamon highlights. I didn't wanna kill him either. One day I grabbed both the cats and plopped em down within three feet of ole Cinamon as he was nonchalantly nibling on something in the corner of the closet behind some shoes.
This was not a small rat. Probably weighed two pounds. The cats arched up their backs and ran away. Worthless pussies.
Finally I trapped hiim and took him where he could bother other people.
Funny, that's what Mrs. SlowBoat called the rat we were chasing - until the sticky trap got him! Humane traps be damned! Break the rat's thumbs until he tells you where the nukes are!