Posted on 04/30/2005 5:56:16 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
Nursing mom gets unwelcome reception
FW mall says security firm made a mistake
10:37 PM CDT on Friday, April 29, 2005
By KARIN KELLY / WFAA-TV
For many mothers, breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.
But it turned into an embarassing situation that angered a North Texas woman this week after she said a mall security guard harassed her.
Adrian Sparks was shopping at Hulen Mall Thursday, and decided to discreetly nurse her eight-month-old baby under a blanket in the food court.
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Karin Kelly reports "The security guard came over and asked me to stop, and either go to the restroom or to leave," Sparks said.
The guard told Sparks a food court customer had complained, even though Sparks was covered with a blanket.
"I told him it was perfectly legal for me to nurse my child," Sparks said. "And that they sell clothes more revealing that what I was doing right here."
Of course, it is legal - but soon another manager approached.
"He said, 'well those rules don't apply because we're a private facility,'" she recalled.
Friends who breastfeed have rushed in for support.
"The human race wouldn't exist without breast milk," said nursing mom Rachel Tarbutton.
Some are members of La Leche League, an organization that supports mother's milk for health and bonding benefits..
"To know that she is getting everything she needs from me, from my body, is (important)," Sparks said.
Mall officials said the incident was not normal procedure, and that t heir new security company made a mistake.
"That is not a Hulen Mall policy," said manager Kevin Davies. " We support what she was doing, we support moms and all of our customers, and feel badly this occurred."
That's not all that reassuring for Sparks, though.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to shop there again, because I was just so upset about it," she said.
Breastfeeding on demand is not spoiling a child. The fact of the matter is breastfed babies tend to need more frequent feedings than bottle-fed babies. Feeding a child when it is hungry is not "giving him what he wants". It's giving him what he needs.
Not breastfeeding "on demand" can lead to problems for mother and child one of which is the mother becoming engorged to the point the baby cannot latch on and suckle. I can tell you this is not pleasant for the mother as it is uncomfortable if not downright painful.
Nursing a child in public, if done discreetly and not in an ostentacious manner, is perfectly fine and legal.
Where do you change your baby's diapers? I guess that doesn't smell, either, right?
An infant's right to be fed when hungry supercedes anyone else's "right" to not be offended.
What usually follows in online debates on this subject once it reaches the "busy body" charge? Is that detractors to public breastfeeding are trying to force WOMEN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN. Like, out of sight. Like under "a man's thumb".
You weren't planning to "go there", were you?
Chances are good you've been "exposed" to it but didn't notice it.
Meanwhile the same security guard was probably oogling the numerous teenagers walking by in various stages of undress...i.e. thongs with low-rider pants, belly shirts, low cut tops, etc.
Feed your babies in private - why is that so difficult? I've breast-fed three and never had to in public. Some women are so incredibly self-centered that it amazes me that they even wanted children. Probably just another nice possession to show off.
I say write the mall management company and insist they instill a dress code for teenagers or they won't be allowed in the mall. Solves that problem.
You sound like a good mom, Motherbear. Part of the problem in the discussion concerning breastfeeding-while-discreet is where this is taking place. Was it you who wrote about "feeding" in church? In a pew, one can be very discreet. But in a public place.. like a "food court" or mall? Very few nursing moms can carry off the "discreet" part very well, if at all. Are we talking about nursing-under-blanket while at a large family function? You see, I think not being specific is what has contributed to major misunderstandings in this thread.
You may have traumatized someone with that pic. Shame on you. /sarcasm
I have to respectfully disagree .. it is NOT the best thing for the baby if the baby is not getting nourishment. Believe me - I did not feel guilty about it - until I was inundated with militant types. However I quickly got over it... and with the second son gave it another shot... this time I did not wait 5 weeks however - after 2 weeks it was becoming apparent we were in the same situation - and I went straight to K-Mart and bought bottles and formula!
I will feed my babies whenever and where ever they are hungry. How's that?
I recall one of the first tenants of breastfeeding is "encouragement". And some newly breastfeeding moms DO need encouragement. But I don't see how opinions about whether to breastfeed in public or not should serve as a deterrent to breastfeeding. When one sets their mind to nursing, as a choice, do you really think reading posts which support breastfeeding but not in public are going to discourage a newly breastfeeding mother (or to-be one)? Most breastfeeding does NOT take place in public. If it is going to discourage potential or current breastfeeders, it says the mother is breastfeeding for maybe not the right reasons, no? Is she trying to win "mommy of the year" awards by "breastfeeding in public"?
You know - I really think there are moms that are "militant" types and don't know they are militant. I was always encouraged to breastfeed - my Mom breastfed me during the late 50's when it was VERY unfashionable... It seemed like the most normal thing for me to do!
That said - I do believe that discretion should be taken. THAT is a lost art... If someone's going into public.. yes babies need to be fed - however out of the way places can be found just about anywhere. (Without having to use the bathroom .. yuck). I do think that Xena and others have made good points tho - scheduling can be done. I also think that taking young babies out may not be the best thing anyway... there's something to be said about keeping them out of public for the first few months. The the public issue should only be an issue for a few more months. I feel VERY strongly that babies should not be breastfed once they are able to eat semi solid food and drink from a cup. Beyond it really becomes an issue that it's being done for the MOTHER not the baby.
Motherbear - you may never have been subjected to the "militant" types - Frankly I've been out of the loop so long now on "baby things" that I was surprised to see that the militants are still around... but they are VERY disconerting. Encouragement is one thing - but I was told over and over ... you just didn't try hard enough... or you didn't give it enough time.... or you should have called for help...
Give up, ladies. Look at what we're debating here. There are moms who say, "I want to feed my hungry baby under a blanket in a public place." Then you have the others who say, "I do not want you to feed your hungry baby in a public place."
The fact is, a baby is hungry. The ASSUMPTIONS are, the mother is doing it to show off, etc.
It does absolutely no damage to the onlookers who would rather complain than avert their eyes to see a nursing mother. It does, however, hurt the hungry baby that doesn't get to eat and doesn't understand why not. Whose rights are being trampled here?
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