Whatever happened to "The Rules"?
I like these rules better:
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE
FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
2. All men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a
color.
3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more
attractive than short hair.
5. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
8. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as gas, the shotgun formation, or ERA's.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work.
11. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
12. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
15. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
16. Check your oil.
17. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
19. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
20. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
21. STOP CRYING!!!!
I read that book!