Posted on 03/31/2005 4:39:28 PM PST by Lorianne
When I was at college in the ‘80s (and a feisty, liberal-arts women’s college it was), the notion of staying home with your kids was, shall we say, unpopular. Why spend four expensive years preparing for your supposedly brilliant career if you weren’t going to put the kids where God and feminism intended them: in daycare?
So it’s been fascinating to watch the pendulum swing the other way the last 15 years, as women of my generation and older faced the untold frustrations of trying to work full time and raise a family. Injuries to the number of women whose heads hit the glass ceiling soared.Credit card interest out of control?
In her 1997 landmark book “The Second Shift,” Arlie Hochschild reported that most women who worked full time still did most of the housework. Many others found they were working to pay for child care, so they could keep working -- to pay for child care.
No wonder more and more of us began to reconsider the stay-at-home option, or variations thereof (flextime, working from home, extended maternity leave, etc.). As Mary Snyder, co-author of “You Can Afford to Stay Home With Your Kids,” told me, “It’s a total priority shift. Women don’t want the Supermom Syndrome. It looked great from the outside, but once you were in it, you were miserable and you couldn’t excel at anything.”
I’ve ridden the waves of maternal angst with the rest of my peers, and the stay-at-home option has always appealed. Plus, I’m a writer (I said to myself), so I could always work while the little tyke naps. I wouldn’t even have to lose much professional ground. You know: “Writer Wins Pulitzer During Naptime.” Mmhmm.
(Excerpt) Read more at moneycentral.msn.com ...
But what does it cost to have the kids in daycare, eat out all the time, taking care of the home, etc.
I can believe it. Say a woman is out of the workforce for 15 years, foregoing a $30,000 salary...
Education is more than vocational. Education has an intrinsic value. In my case, I studied Philosophy and Religion as an undergrad and later History in Grad School. My vocational part was R.O.T.C.
Pinging for later
It is usually more than 8 hours. How sad, not to have any time to themselves, away from the group. My mom stayed home with me and I was essentially an only child because my sister was married by the time I was 5 years old. I learned to entertain myself, read, do projects, and I got to go out and make friends with the neighborhood kids I wanted to be friends with - the summers seemed endless. Now these kids go to work every day just like their parents do. I wonder how that will affect our future generations.
Same here. Husbands don't always stick around. The kids do.
BINGO....YOU are correct.....having gone to college WILL benefit your kids.....education, should be (isn't necessarily) about HOW to learn.....and HOW to follow directions....and HOW to analyze......NOT just getting some degree. Your kids are lucky.
,,, many thanx.
Thank you. And I'm glad I have a hubby that agrees with my view on this. We don't have cable TV (if we could pay just for FOX News we would get that!) and such. But neither are we deprived of anything we need. Except we are in the middle of a lay off so if anyone in Texas needs a good conservative mechanical engineer please freepmail me. ;)
"In one year, we lost a president, an HR manager, a production manager and a couple of writers and graphic designers."
Yep you'd have to be very foolish to promote a young woman up into a key position. Not only do they leave, but in some places you have to legally save her job for her. So you can't even get a good replacement.
I disagree.
As long as you're going to "suppose", why not double all your figures?
Just "suppose" they are just as reasonable.
"I figure the education I have will also be a benefit to them."
Once the kids are older, you can go back into the workforce with your training. But the real parents want to send their daughters to university isn't about the daughters career.
Its to meet an ambitious and intelligent husband.
You raise an interesting series of points.
For example, when my daughter was growing up, the critical first 9 years, my ex worked 30 miles away, where the higher bucks were and I worked 5 minutes away at a sacrifice of perhaps 20% in salary (I still made 75% more than she did), and it was my task to drop her off at the baby sitters, pick her up, be there if an emergency came up, etc.
In addition I had the added bonus of spending quality time with her before "mom" got home each night.
Oh yes. I still was constantly accused of "not contributing enough" to the mommy tasks.
My spouse and I put ourselves through college. I went, she worked, then I worked, she went. Both for personal bettering and future opportunity. I am certain neither of us did it to hedge our bets on our marriage.
As long as you can seriously, and honestly, put your spouse first in all, or most :), or your doings, you'll be just fine. Just be sure you pick someone who feels the same way. That above all else. 2 kids, a dog & cat, and a lot of respect.
I don't know. My folks didn't seem concerned about that for me at all. And I didn't meet my hubby until 6 years after I graduated. By then I had college friends who were already divorced.
I learned the hard way. The spouse bugged out on me when I had a small child and a high school education. Never again.
Have you ever driven by a daycare and see all the kids hanging on the fence looking to outside world? ....reminds me of a prison
Good luck and God bless. I kind of wish we could do the same thing as you.
Because of my long length of service I thought it best to stay and earn while they worked out there's no point in my section being where we are. My wife works for the same employer and she's on a year's maternity leave right now. She'll return in September and I'll carry on the business after hours that I've built over the last few years... it's making more than double what my day job does, so I can grow it further and still see lots of my daughter during the day. It's worked out well. My wife won't be at work for ever.
"got themselves pregnant"
???? Did I miss something in sex ed. class?
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