Posted on 03/21/2005 9:49:25 AM PST by MisterRepublican
CARBONDALE -- On the dance floor at Gatsby's II, a popular bar at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, a tall brunette drinks beer from a plastic pitcher while she grinds her backside into a man's body.
A silver disco ball hangs overhead while a blond woman in a pink, pleated miniskirt writhes on her partner's leg.
A girl notices that her boyfriend's attention is wandering. With a manicured hand, she grabs his face and plants a Hollywood-worthy kiss on his mouth.
On this sticky dance floor, littered with plastic cups and packed with gyrating bodies, women are the hunters as much as the hunted.
Traditional stereotypes dictate that men want sex, and women crave love. But, on today's college campuses, students say those gender lines are blurrier than a pair of beer goggles.
When a University of Illinois sorority girl observed over lunch at a Champaign cafe that "guys aren't looking for love," her friend chimed in: "I don't think we can blame it on the guys. I'm not looking for love, either."
Girls are just as bad as boys now," another woman said.
"To guys, [sex is] still like scoring," said author Tom Wolfe, who spent two years on college campuses researching his new novel. "The strange part is that it's become that for girls, too. They'll say, 'I scored Jack last night . . . finally!'''
A federal government survey of 4,600 college students found that slightly more male than female undergrads are virgins.
(Excerpt) Read more at suntimes.com ...
"I don't want to spend years waiting and remaining pure, only to have my husband pass on a gift from one of his ex-lovers.
It's a concern but you shouldn't base a decision like marriage on this possibility. Seriously, what are you going to do? A sexual background check on this person you've fallen in love with?
"Or be secretly thinking I'm not as hot as he girl he knew freshman year of college."
This is a concern too but if he asks you to marry him, chances are he loves you. On the other hand, don't expect your man to give up fantsy after marriage. That's unrealistic.
Most of the girls who ARE labeled "slut" are not actually promiscuous. Most of the girls who get called "slut" in high school are either girls who are not popular or who have pissed someone off. Once you get the reputation you can't get rid of it, and you rarely get the reputation on account of anything slutty that you actually do. "Slut" is just a word people use to hurt girls they don't like because they know that once a girl is labeled "slut" men will regard her as "fair game" and other girls won't associate with her.
Women will never have a fair shake in this world until they learn to defend one another and not accept judgement on the grounds of their sexual choices... you can sleep with 100 guys, but if you carry yourself like a queen and expect no less, you will be treated like a queen-- but if you are called "slut" and you cringe because maybe once you let a guy go to third base, everyone will treat you like a whore and if you are in high school, you may very well be raped...
... but all is vanity, since from the very fountain of enchantment rises a drop of bitterness to torment even from the flowers; either when a guilty conscience chances to sting him with the thought that he is passing his life in sloth and perishing in debauches, or because she has let drop a word of doubtful meaning ...
Lucretius
From the article:
A federal government survey of 4,600 college students found that slightly more male than female undergrads are virgins.
The guys are out there. Just a couple of weeks ago there was a sad letter to Dear Abby from an 18-yo Christian college boy in Arizona who was already despairing of staying chaste because he couldn't find a girl who would stay with him for more than two weeks (!!!) unless he'd sleep with her.
(Sheesh ... I wasn't even dating at 18 !?!)
The men are out there ... you just have to find them, and them you. But you might have to make it happen, not just wait for it to happen. I wish you and your friends all kinds of good luck.
Listen to sapirit. Men who are on the hunt for sex are FOS. They will try every trick in the book. She's also right about women and name calling.
You were saying there was no rational reason not to sleep around?
yes, I did. and?..
How about the one you just gave? People (not just men) who sleep around get in the habit of using each other, and can't shake that when they marry. Sounds like a pretty good and rational reason to me.
But many do marry eventually, or you wouldn't have pointed it out as an issue to JenB.
2. who said they (the users) think using people is bad?
Irrelevant what they *think*. Using people is bad.
Never being able to bear children of her own is a terrible price for a woman to pay for anonymous sex with a drunken stranger.
There are something like 5 million new chlamydia cases a year. It's very common.
"Therefore, women's infidelity has grown to be considered more serious than men's infidelity."
Depends on who's doing the considering, eh? But I was talking more about premarital sex. Men don't generally look to marry a "whore" or a "slut". But those are just labels. A woman won't be called a slut if the quantity of her premarital sex partners isn't common knowledge. If she looks and acts proper then she's a good woman. Once the news of her sex habits becomes known... presto-changeo... she's a slut. There is no corresponding label for men. "Stud" isn't considered an insult. That's what I find strange. It's amazing how differently men's and women's sex habits are viewed.
As far as after marriage, well, you either take your vows seriously or you don't.
Sure there is. A chaste person will be happier than an unchaste person, just as a person who eats in moderation will be happier than a glutton (even though the glutton may claim that he's happier). How can we know this objectively? Because the intellect is the greatest human power, and having control of one's lower appetites so that one can will what one knows, through one's intellect, to be the best for oneself, makes true happiness possible. A glutton or whore is a slave to his lower appetites. His will is not free to choose what his intellect knows to be his highest good, which is, on the natural level, a life of virtue.
Me too. Consider how God designed the human body, and that marriages 100 years ago lasted much longer than they do today. The fact is that there is a causal relationship between length of schooling and the period of "adolescence," or extended childhood.
Because the intellect is the greatest human power
for real? Nazi Germany was the most intellectually and academically advanced country of its time... so much for intellectual powers.
How about "slutpuppy" or "horndog"? Or "Clinton"? ;-)
A rationality that doesn't consider future happiness isn't very rational.
Listen to the parents who raised you, not fools.
it does. just not the type folks here described, which is heavily based in religious commandments. If you don't believe in G-d, then all these commandments-derived reasons are nothing to you: there is no hard statistical evidence for any material damages which are caused by promiscuity.
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