Intel's 100-core chip could power intelligent toilet

The Register ^ | 3/6/05 | Ashlee Vance

[thoughtomator]

A hypochondriac's wet dream!

[MarkL]

"Imagine a home that helps you live a healthy lifestyle," he said, during a keynote address. "It actually monitors as you live (and) looks for signs of early disease."

No way I'm ever going to buy a refrigerator that won't let me have a Peach Snapple or my Samuel Smith's Taddy Porter when I want it!

Mark

[martin_fierro]

"It actually monitors as you live (and) looks for signs of early disease."

Oh, goody.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

The powerful toilet can call the doctor and schedule an appointment if it notices suspicious stool

[martin_fierro]

Toilet: "Easy, big boy. The 10 oz cut will do next time."

Me: "STFU and clean yourself, willya?"

[cinnathepoet]

So there's Intel's 100-core chip helping your toilet examine the morning delivery for signs of blood or god knows what else. The powerful toilet can call the doctor and schedule an appointment if it notices suspicious stool - checking, of course, with your online calendar for an appropriate time. Or, should you collapse right then and there, the toilet can call for an ambulance. Brilliant!

Oh no! A Swiss hygiene inspector installed in your very bathroom!

[endthematrix]

"The powerful toilet can call the doctor

Or any authority of the designers choosing.

[martin_fierro]

"Easy, big boy. The 10 oz cut will do next time."

Potty mouth.

[Lazamataz]

All kidding aside, such a toilet could be helpful and even witty. Who wouldn't want a reminder like, "Easy, big boy. The 10 oz cut will do next time."

The first time a toilet does that, I shoot it.

Seriously.

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

It would also have a motion picture camera that goes direct to a pervert web site.

[Lazamataz]

Or any authority of the designers choosing.

Technology may have us sh***ing outdoors and wearing furs before this is over.

[Zivasmate]

Will it be able to distinguish blood from a hemmorhoid from a more serious problem?

[CBart95]

Brings to mind an old chesnut about computers: "speeding up and making more efficient things that never should have been done in the first place"

POTTY MOUTH! Indeed!

[Skibane]

As always seems to happen in these types of speeches, Rattner was forced to point to today's video gamers as the major users of fast PCs in the consumer market. They'll be the ones loving multi-core chips. What companies like Intel, Dell and Microsoft would do without gamers is beyond us. The futurists sure struggle on their own to talk about anything other than really smart fridges, toasters and walls.

It'll be great for gamers, but the rest of us will get little more than posher-looking desktops, whizzier animated icons, and – maybe, if we're really lucky – usable voice recognition. For the forseeable future, marketing hype and planned obsolescence will be the only two things that drive PC sales for non-gamers.

[MarkL]

You sound like you're from Belmont!

Kansas City, acutally.

Mark

[Polybius]

So there's Intel's 100-core chip helping your toilet examine the morning delivery for signs of blood or god knows what else. The powerful toilet can call the doctor and schedule an appointment if it notices suspicious stool -...........

"Unbeknownst to Harry before he sat down, his new Intel 100-Core Chip Version 2.0 toilet came equipped with a computer automated colonoscope that sent fiber optic images of his colon directly to his doctor's office computer."

[denydenydeny]

It's an R. Crumb poster brought to life.

[Moonman62]

Or, should you collapse right then and there, the toilet can call for an ambulance. Brilliant!

Something Elvis could have used.