40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[sully777]

What is the most awesomely bad love song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What love song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs....The kind of songs that might end a relationship rather than enhance it. You get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

[somerville]

Thanks ! Actually the lyrics don't seem too bad on paper. I think it's the guy's voice I can't stand.

[GraceCoolidge]

I think there are a fair number of "I treated you like dirt, but that doesn't mean I don't love you" type songs. Lightnin' Strikes is one, the other one that makes me nuts is "You Were Always On My Mind" by Willie Nelson... yes, I was a skunk but hey, I was thinkin' 'bout you.

[small_l_libertarian]

I like "Brandy". %-)

That's okay. I like "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights."

We each have our crosses to bear.

[Petronski]

Based on votes, it's leading.


If only they'd called it "Rutting Rats" we might have been spared its popularity.

[somerville]

I figured out that the problem is the guy who sings "Brandy" maybe not the song itself.

[TChris]

Ear worms? Chekov wouldn't enjoy the memory. :-)

[ssaftler]

You mean Minnie Ripperton, don't you? She had a set of pipes on her, a shame she sang such dreck!

[reagandemocrat]

Ding, ding, ding! Winner over here!

[small_l_libertarian]

It's just so earnest-sounding, isn't it? I hate that danged song, but I sing along every time.

[TheBigB]

That'd be the group "Looking Glass."

[Scoutmaster]

With all the venom spewed at "Wildfire," as a bad love song, I'm surprised by the absence of another truly bad love song (as long as we're including beastiality, which apparently we are):

Shannon, by Henry Gross, written about watch the outgoing ocean current take away his dog on an inflatable raft.

"Shannon is gone, she's drifting out to sea."

Sung in falsetto. We've had muskrat love and equine love. That's my nomination for worst canine love song.

[Marauder]

"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka ...

[sully777]

Re: DOKKEN

Can you explain their mascot, the robot? I recall a video on a Cali beach with beautiful girls and at the end of video there was this giant robot walking off camera. Anyone know?

---

BTW, the rap song Roxanne Roxanne made Vh-1's countdown. And as everyone from the 80's knows there was an impotent follow-up by a female rapper with the title "The Real Roxanne" which my ex-girlfriend sang to me endlessly.

[somerville]

NOW we're talking. "Pardise By The Dashboard Light" is a damn fine song.

[not_apathetic_anymore]

I think a lot of us are going to have to do some hard drive erasin' - and earworm erasin' after this.

[small_l_libertarian]

Shannon, by Henry Gross, written about watch the outgoing ocean current take away his dog on an inflatable raft.

I'm pretty sure I've never heard this song (thank goodness), but this made me spew my drink all over my laptop. LOL! And I LIKE dogs!

Yeah, I know. I'm going straight to hell.

[sully777]

You won! Uncle

driiiiiiifting oooooouttttttt ttooooooooooooooooooo
seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea

[wyattearp]

"Wildfire" by Michael Martin Murphy.

I liked it. ;^)

It's too sad for me. Can't stand listening to it.

[doug from upland]

MIDI - ON MY OWN -- version No. 1

I'll be gone…I'll finally leave that b*stard
In the headlines all his deeds are plastered
That new chick…oh, what had he taught her
He's really been despicable in lying to Webb’s daughter

It goes on…the spotlight he’s still grabbing
In my back, it feels like he is stabbing
For years, the sheeple we’d been fooling
But now the press is catching on and it is getting grueling

Now I know that I must get away
And I realize that it must be today
There's not much, no not much more to say
He is scum…he is scum…and so

I'm going…do I detect your mocking
There he is…the Bekins guy is knocking
I’ll pack up the things that we have stolen
And if he gets in my way both his eyes will soon be swollen

I'm gone…I'm leaving the arena
They will cry for me in Argentina
Divorce court…we're gonna fight in sidebars
The final straw was when our friends got sick on those cigars

I hate him
I hate him
I now admit that he is really scum

[Bluegrass Conservative]

"Went to bed at 2 with a 10, woke up at 10 with a 2".

I heard a GREAT country song one time . . . "I can't get over you, so why don't you get under me?" : )