40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[sully777]

What is the most awesomely bad love song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What love song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs....The kind of songs that might end a relationship rather than enhance it. You get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

[buccaneer81]

"Hey Paula"

Ouch. I had to sing that once in a Karaoke/Comedy club in Chicago a few years ago. My GF at the time had been up onstage and the comic decided I would make a fine sideshow. Thank God for Bud Light.

[LisaMalia]

had to get one more bad song on here that I never saw mentioned: "Hang on Sloopy."

Now, wait a minute! That's Ohio State's unofficial themesong, and legendary here in Buckeye country!....:)

[Celtic Conservative]

I nominate: "Feelings" by Morris Albert AKA Rachmaninoffs piano concerto #2 Bad AND unoriginal

Wow. i'm wrong on yet another post! the song I was thinking of was "all by myself", in itself also a good choice for the list.

[MHT]

Did Paul Williams ever experience the real thing with a real person--or was the gluck in his songs a product of his imagination of what love would be like should it ever happen to him? (Kinda like the fantasy world of 1930's America that Hollywood's Jewish moguls were producing, thinking that they were outsiders looking in on an idealized world.)

[the invisib1e hand]

makes for a great memory, though.

[lastchance]

Oh yeah Honey is on my gag meter too.
But here are some more gag me with a spoon hits.

Honey- just hurry up and die why don't she.
Ben- love song to a rat.
MacArthur Park- might not be a love song but sappily sentimental enough to qualify.
Having My Baby. Thats what he thinks.
I Honestly Love You. and Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree.

[lastchance]

Well this is my favorite.

WHERE OH WHERE ARE YOU TONIGHT ?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE
I SEARCHED THE WORLD OVER AND THOUGHT I FOUND TRUE LOVE
YOU MET ANOTHER AND PHHHT YOU WAS GONE.

[Colonel_Flagg]

Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Lunch"

Pat Benatar - "Lunch is a Battlefield"

Pretty much says all that needs to be said.

[Colonel_Flagg]

I prefer Larry The Cable Guy's classic:

"I Can't Get Over You 'Til You Get Out From Under Him."

[Clay Moore]

Puberty Love from "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

[rwfromkansas]

lol

[rwfromkansas]

Drop kick me Jesus......I wrote an editorial in the college paper absolutely ripping the praise band of my college for playing that at chapel.

I almost got up and left.

[mollynme]

I didn't realize that Hang on Sloopy was a love song. LOL

[SlightOfTongue]

"I Died When I Ate My Heart Out Over You"

[unbalanced but fair]

How about "She Broke My Heart and I Broke Her Jaw" by Rick Stanley and Lookout Mountain.
Chorus:
"She broke my heart and I broke her jaw,
I called her lawyer when she called the law,
Now she's sippin' soup carefully through a straw.
She broke my heart and I broke her jaw."

[lastchance]

That is just too sweet for words. I think I will ask my mamma to make me a sampler with them lyrics. I'll hang it right under my Velvet Elvis painting.

[rwfromkansas]

I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you everything I've gotta tell you
But I know I've gotta give it a try
And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules and then I know how to break 'em
And I always know the name of the game
But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it

Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all
Making love out of nothing at all

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun are
Streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at
Your eyes like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum, and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness at the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well, it's nothing 'til I give it to you
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make you every promise that has ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone
But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do

Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all

[rwfromkansas]

DEFINITELY INTERNATIONAL.

I can prove it.

One of my college roommates is from South Korea. An awesome guy (and probably a Korean trait....very much of a pat-you-on-the-back/hug you person....and I am not unless it is a girl...lol).

Anyway, he loves Celine Dion songs. I don't hate them as much as most American guys, but I frankly can't listen to them 5 times a day like he plays them. It really begins to wear on you.

Korean males are really, well, more feminine than American guys....according to my other roommate, who visited there a couple weeks.

[sully777]

Sloopy bad? That's like saying Louie Louie is bad. IMO, Hang On Sloopy is a great song with risque lyrics for the day to wit: "Sloopy let your hair down girl, let it run down on me" That was gooood writing, though i never saw it as a love song. More like lust, especially when she is begged to shake it shake it shake it.

---

McCoys Final Cut

Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on
Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on

Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town
And everybody there tries to put my Sloopy down
Sloopy I don't care what your daddy do
'Cause you know Sloopy girl I'm in love with you
And so I'm singing...

[Chorus:]
Yeah yeah yeah yeah...

[Lead Break]

Sloopy let your hair down girl, let it run down on me
Sloopy let your hair down girl, let it run down on me

Come on Sloopy Come on, come on [2x]
Well come on Sloopy Come on, come on [2x]

Well it feels so good Come on, come on
You know it feels so good Come on, come on

Well shake it, shake it, shake it Sloopy Come on, come on
Well shake it, shake it, shake it yeah
Yeah...(scream)

[Chorus]

There is a stanza about Sloopy in a red dress that was cut from the final 45. The reason given was time but time was not really a factor when you think they could have cut out the ending chants.

Original Long Version

Sloopy wears a red dress, yeah
??
but when sloopy wears that red dress, yeah
you know it gives me the chills

Sloopy when I see you walking,
walking down the street
I say don't worry sloopy, girl
You belong to me

[sully777]

"...Then one day the rain washed all the crops away..." -- Patches

As long as I could remember listening to this song I thought one thing:



Just damn.