Posted on 03/02/2005 11:21:15 AM PST by srm913
OMG...LOL with tears!! Chickenlax! OMG..exlax by itself only produced foam...just hilarious. Also my brothers and I have always discussed strange people as he/she wasn't right...just this statement brings me back to growing up. Thanks for the laughs.
OMG! Hysterically MEAN!!!! LOL!
I noted the screensaver my boss was using, renamed this one to match, then mapped to his NT box and overwrote his old screensaver. When he kicked into screensaver mode, it put up the BSOD (complete with flickering busy light), checking files and finding eveything corrupt. He'd hit reset, and everything would be fine until the next time his screensaver would kick in. It was a hoot!
You can freeze a toy rubber pirate's knife in liquid nitrogen, then hammer it into a pieco of wood (desk, door, etc.).
While a well known TV actor (now deceased) was on his honeymoon, his "friends" filled his bathtub, toilet, sink, etc. with jello.
I tried messing with one of my daughters who freaks out when she gets too close to spiders. A plastic spider on her pillow brought forth the expected loud scream.
The next morning I walked outside to put on my boots........ one pair was stuffed to the top with fresh horse manure and the other pair was loaded with cow manure.
She didn't know how to react when I just sat down on the steps and started laughing.
When I was in college, parking was tight, and the parking police were constantly busy writing tickets. So if you found a parking place, legal or not, all you had to do was look around for another car that already had a ticket, remove the ticket from that windshield wiper, and put it under your own wiper. Ta-dah! Ticket insurance. Of course, the other guy got hauled into traffic court . . .
She had an old gas heater that was up on 4 or 5 inch legs. She had brought a runt piglet home from her farm (and evidently left it run loose in her house) and it crawled under the aforementioned heater while she was shopping. When the thermostat kicked on and fired the burner, Pinky couldn't get out without burning his back, so he just stayed there and cooked. He was crispy, so she must have been shopping quite a while. That's what I mean - she just wasn't right.
Chickens have but one hole, to poop or lay an egg.
When that hole is plugged, for Chickenlax they beg!
Chickenlax.
I wish I remebered more of the jingles, but it HAS been 24 years!
read later
Then call over one of your coworkers and tell em they have a phone call.
Works every time.
We had one guy we paged to the pager number...
Bah! you're a piker...
Bump to read on a rainy day.
I knew of a guy who did the frozen rose trick, only he didn't wear gloves to crumble it.
The surgeon was very bemused as he pulled a limp shard of rose petal from his palm...
Back in High School (30yrs) me and my girlfreinds decided to take autoshop.
The teacher and guys were unhappy.
On guy and his buddies everyday took are purses and went through them, would cop feels and steal our brunch Big Cookie and milk and gulp them down.
After repeated times asking for the teacher to intervene and he ignored us I decided action was needed.
I took a big cookie and pour a whole bottle of "stop bite" nail polish on it and smeared it in dirty gym shoes ect....
Well Put the cookie and milk on the edge of my desk like to obvious so when he came in he grabbed it and I did my usual shriek "give it back" so he gobbled as fast as he could.
Us three girls were doubled over laughing knowing the bitter polish and unsavory place that cookie had been earlier.
I then announced to the whole class and teacher "this is justice/payback" and told all what I had done to that cookie the guy just stuffed all at once in his mouth and gobbled down.
He unfortenetly got really ill, lil to much "stop bite" polish and we were never bothered again.
A few years later I was leaving to boot camp and guess who was sent by the Navy to pick me up.
That's nasty.
One I heard of back in mt misspent youth: on a warm, sunny day, completely cover your victim's front windshield with liquid dish detergent, then generously apply a good layer of oatmeal on top of that. The sun bakes it on the windshield, and it's supposed to be a pain to clean off (but the soap provides lots of fun bubbles).
I don't know if it really works, and I'm too old and respectable (hah!) now to try it.
A co-worker of mine did something similar to another co-worker. Except (remember this is Vermont) he put a sign on the back of the car reading:
Gay?
Need a date?
Co-worker #2 was NOT pleased.
We had a secretary in the company I worked for that was great fun to "get" on April Fools day. For years we were able to get her with one thing or another.
The best, however, was the year she swore that we simply could not get her anymore. She was sure to lock her office and even bribed the night crew with food to watch it for her. She stayed on her toes all day so she would not fall prey to any pranks. A co-worker and I met her on the way out the door and she bragged about her success in evading us. We assured her that she had really pulled one over on us.
As we left the parking lot my partner in crime had his car in front, Mrs Secretary was in the middle and I was in the back. My partner stopped, I pulled up close behind her and we both jumped out with rolls of shrink wrap. We put 5 or 6 wraps around her car and proceeded to drive off. She had to drive 2 towns away and honk the horn in her driveway so her husband could let her out.
"We once had a buttoned-down jerk of a general manager in Mexico who was a stickler for "politically correct" office wear. He sent out a memo to all employees telling the females that wearing pants was prohibited and severe penalties would result if they continued to break that rule. Ordinarily, the females at the office were mice with no guts, but the day after the memo, they all showed up in pants, even his own secretary. He quickly rescinded the order."
Bikini bottoms would have scored much higher!
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I like the idea of taping FAX spams together to form a continous loop and sending back to the sender...
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It is even better if you use black colored paper. >:)
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