Physics professor, noted for his determination to prove that humans have free will, was taken to the campus emergency room after he was discovered to have been overcome by what one physician described as an extreme case of "colonic shoe intrusion syndrome," which he declined to describe further. After briefly regaining consciousness, and being asked what had happened, the stricken physicist mysteriously repeated William Wallace's final cry: "Freedom!!"
Sounds like The Angry American by Toby Keith.
Only the boot is supposed to go in the other guy's *ss, dummy!
Cheers!