The tortured logic of Mo Dowd

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review ^ | Sunday, February 6, 2005 | Dimitri Vassilaros

[Willie Green]

Maureen Dowd, the very cute but impossibly shrewish columnist for The New York Times, has a problem with sex.

Dowd is in a dither because female military interrogators used their feminine wiles on Muslim detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp. Which is a great plan because terrorists tend to be so uptight about earthly women that they prefer the 72 virgins waiting for them in heaven.

Great plan, unless the suspects are gay.

Or unless our chicks look like Abu Ghraib prison guard Lyndie England.

In a recent column, Dowd wrote that, " ... female interrogators used a toxic combination of sex and religion to try to break Muslim detainees at the U.S. prison camp in Cuba. It's not merely disgusting. It's beyond belief."

Actually, it's like one of those letters that begins, "Dear Playboy, You are not going to believe this, but ... ."

[Dashing Dasher]

Wrong, just wrong!

[Grampa Dave]

[Goodgirlinred]

shocking. Of course, I don't think we should use the electric chair either. Lethal injection is more humane.

[Goodgirlinred]

I know. LOL! Silly, isn't it?

[Goodgirlinred]

Uh, please describe your "babies". I gave birth to mine.

[Lazamataz]

Uh, please describe your "babies". I gave birth to mine.

I steal them from the hospital.

Then I eat them.

You could use a fork -- but use a spoon so
you don't miss a single drop!

[Goodgirlinred]

I don't know, Hildy. This thread has gone to heck. Fake blood is great. Apparently it was sow's blood which is even better. It was supposed to have been menstrual blood. Also, we have discussed the actions of the female interrogators. Then someone said they were not military personnel but contractors.

Then Laz went off on his tangent and one other dude wants the same thing. Must have been a full moon.

[Goodgirlinred]

What a cuttie. What is that she is holding? The thing you grow and eat?

[Lazamataz]

What a cuttie. What is that she is holding? The thing you grow and eat?

It's a can of pepper spray.

She thought it would ward me off.

But the only thing that will stop me from eating children, is if I get to menstruate.

One or the other, missy. Yer choice.

[Lazamataz]

Then Laz went off on his tangent

(Batman Announcer Voice) WOT'S THIS? The evil Lazamataz tangents a thread into oblivion? Will the Caped Crusaders be able to get it back on-topic? Or will Lazamataz's need for tampons send the Magnifent Duo onto an errand run instead?

Tune in tomorrow, to the same Bat Channel, at the same Bat Time!

[Lazamataz]

OH NO! The picture of my main course is GONE!

Here: Google still has an image cached:

[Marysecretary]

Not yet, she isn't. But she's not as old as Helen either. Give her time, Willie, give her time! She's a lib and it will eventually show on her uptight and wrinkled old face.

[Getsmart64]

Who cares. Do whatever it takes to make them talk. American lives are at stake. Do whatever it takes.

[Fintan]

Did she go to one of those all women feminist colleges or universities?
 

No, she got thrown to the curb by Michael Douglas for Catherine Zeta-Jones (see illustration below), but from what I understand, feminist colleges will give you a Master's Degree if you're frumpy, frigid, and, well... dowdy.

[Marysecretary]

Well, we get over that notion quickly enough. Loved that hysterectomy!!!

[techcor]

It took 39 posts. Shameful. I remember back in the old days when the first or second post would keep up the rules. I am depressed (Slim Pickens from Blazing Saddles voice).

[Taffini]

...after losing bf Michael Douglas to the ultra sexy Catherine Zeta-Jones..


WHERE have I been? dowdy-dowd used to date m douglas? face it, looks always wins. dowdy-dowd comes out on the short end of that stick

[Taffini]

Actually, the fake blood was kind of clever. Devout Muslims still believe the "unclean" thing. Menstruating women are not supposed to even touch the Koran.



you are probably better off entering life as a goat in that part of the world rather than being born a woman..at least you would be respected and admired and have 4 legs

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL! My wife loved her's too.

[F.J. Mitchell]

That's the prettiest picture of Reno I have ever seen. She, she, d*mn near looks human.