I am personally of the belief that part of the willingness to blame the parents in cases like this is that everyone wants to believe that it can't happen to them. If you can distance yourself from it, it's easier to convince yourself that it won't happen to you.
We all do the best we can as parents, so I hate to see people get bashed over what happened to their child in this case. The nanny is the one who beat their baby...not them. Having a nanny is not, imo, an irresponsible thing. If you can afford one, though, I have to wonder why you do, kwim?
Yeah, that's probably right. I live up on a hill, and when ppl get flooded, I sit back and say "you shouldn't have built a home on a flood plane." Makes me feel better to think it's avoidable and ppl are just stupid. Then again, I live right next to the highest point in NJ, so if I ever get flooded, the whole state of NJ is already gone. But I digress. You're right. Ppl like to think they can control things that sometimes can't be controlled.
While it is, theoretically, possible that even my own mother could have beaten my babies during an evening of babysitting, it was HIGHLY unlikely. Let's not act as though most of us were just sitting under a lucky cloud that kept our babies safe.
It has always been rare for me to use a babysitter. Those I did use were good friends and experienced mothers. Personally, I would never be comfortable with an infant in one on one nanny care. There is no one around to see what is going on. While a day care facility may bring added germs, there is always more than one adult around. This was a substitute nanny. How do you walk out of your house and leave your baby with a TOTAL stranger?
Heck, my kid's middle school Principal offered to drive him home from school one day (the whole class had missed the bus). I don't care who the heck thought he was such a swell guy that they let him be a Principal, but my kid wasn't getting into a car with him.