Dear John,
I hate to hear this about your dear daughter. It is very good that your wife is desperately seeking the correct and adequate help/treatment for her. As one who experienced a type of eating disorder some years ago, let me say: anorexia is NOT about food. There are under-lying problems. (1)Please don't send her back to school just yet, as universities are notorious breeding grounds for eating disorders among girls. Sororities are particularly worrisome in that regard. I've heard stories of janitors on campuses being accustomed to backed-up drains in girls dorm bathrooms because of purging. Have her take a sememster off for treatment purposes and some down-time with the family. (2) Please show her, in word and deed, the great love you have for her. Let her know that she is THE jewel in your crown! (3) Be patient with her. Listen when she wants to talk and, for Heaven's sake, don't make light of any of her concerns. (4) In terms of treatment, get her the best that your means will allow. The professionals in the field are really magnificent. I am waxing long, but allow me one more: (5)DON'T LEAVE HER ALONE. Keep her bedroom door open at all times. Let your wife in the room when your daughter showers and (if necessary) keep the shower curtain open. Just keep an eye on her.
We're praying for her. She'll be all right!
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts, and your prayers.
I agree treat her condition seriously, however I don't agree that you "treat her as the crown Jewel" statement. I know more than a few girls who basically use eating disorders for attention.... I doubt that is the case here given she is not at home... but I have met a few whos issues aren't really anorexia, but a compulsive need to be the center of their universe and attention of those around them, and use eating disorders to manipulate those around them.
These issues are SERIOUS! Get PROFESSIONAL HELP! Don't wing it.