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Ok, a question on the male "just be friends" bit. Isn't it possible that a girl could like and respect someone, and not see him as a marriage partner? I have a number of male acquantainces that I like and respect and enjoy spending time with, but wouldn't marry because they don't share my values.

Yeah, that was more or less what I was getting at, but you stated it better. (As usual!)

I don't always wear my faith on my sleeve - I don't hide it or anything, but people that I don't know through church or through something like this don't necessarily know my beliefs and values. And if someone who I know doesn't share any of the same beliefs and values asks me if I'd like to go out...and I know it's not gonna go anywhere...isn't it kinder to say something in the general vein of the "just be friends" line than it would be to lead him on?

Ugh...that makes me sound like such a snob, but hopefully makes sense.

Guys like concrete reasons. Telling him you don't thing you have a chance and why is much better than the vague 'it's not you it's me, no wait it really is you, but it is not personal, really. we can still be friends.'
Go ahead, tell him you need a man that shares your faith. Just think, that might be a chance to witness to him. Of it might get him thinking about things that lead to salvation. That would be much better than leaving him with just a vague feeling of nonspecific inadequacy, wouldn't it?