Replies

Maureen Jenkins sounds like a female Jayson Blair.

Below is one of her previous great writings about Metro Sexuals"

www.suntimes.com
http://www.suntimes.com/output/lifestyles/cst-ftr-metro17.html

Could you love this man?

December 17, 2003

BY MAUREEN JENKINS

Ladies, there's a new breed of man on the loose -- and watch out. He just might be prettier than you.

Walk into your favorite spa or salon, and you might see his masculine fingers soaking at the manicure station, waiting to be massaged and buffed. You might hear him waxing poetic about a spicy Sangiovese at a trendy wine bar. Or you might see someone like Miami Dolphins defensive star Jason Taylor, he of the 6-foot-6, 260-pound frame of chiseled muscle, lathering up on TV with a Neutrogena Men Power Scrub Deodorant Bar -- and one wrapped in a textured washcloth, no less.

He's the metrosexual, and he's been discussed -- and dissed -- in chat rooms, on sports radio, and among groups of girlfriends throughout America. But despite the faddish moniker, he seems here to stay.

He likes his nails just like his drink -- neat

Of course, there's more to a metrosexual than just his look. For the modern man who fancies himself an international spy, there's the "Metrosexual Martini," now being shaken (not stirred) at the Fairmont Chicago's Bar at Aria. This downtown hotel bar calls the $12 drink "a controversial cocktail for the well-adjusted man," one featuring French-produced Ciroc vodka and three giant olives and served on a mirrored vanity tray. As any true metrosexual knows, accessories make the man -- and this martini comes with a side of Shu Uemura sample-size skin products and a card for a free manicure. At 16 bucks, the treatment at nearby Petrosino's Parlor is worth more than the drink itself.

Now that's smooth.

Maureen Jenkins

So the Sun-Times invited a few single thirtysomething Chicago-area women from its new Dating Panel to chat about this new modern man -- and whether he's the type of gift they'd want from Santa this holiday season.

Credit this year's initial American interest to a Euro RSCG Worldwide study that surveyed 510 American men and found many were snubbing classic gender boundaries. Unafraid of being deemed unmanly, the survey found them "primarily urban, heterosexual, well-educated, and on easy terms with women and feminine ways." A New York Times Sunday Styles piece outed these skin-sensitive dudes back in late June. Since then, the metrosexual's been having his moment in the spotlight.

And some women, like 36-year-old Kimberly Williams of Hyde Park, say it's a good thing -- and think the trend might even be signaling a new gender equality. A dating columnist for Chicago-BlackSingles.com, she's also the author of The BASICS: Tantalizing Tips and Techniques for Attracting Good MEN!

"If throughout time we go back through the years," she says, "a man would place value on himself according to how good his woman looks. But now he's placing value on himself according to how good he looks.

"Sometimes what would happen in a relationship, a woman would get with a man, a boyfriend, or even a husband, and then she'll let herself go. But if she's going out with a metrosexual, she has to stay neck and neck because this man is doing everything to keep himself looking good."

Sherilynn Allen, a South Side resident and avid Internet dater who's now involved with someone she met online, has gone out with metrosexual men before. And she's good friends with a guy she joins for pedicure appointments every couple weeks.

"I've found with the couple I have dated they are a little more narcissistic, more than your average man," says Allen, 38, an executive assistant at Loyola University. "But they will spring for pedicures -- you can get a spa date out of them. They have no problems doing that with you."

But when self-care turns into narcissism, 38-year-old Catherine Filarski draws the line. This Glendale Heights pharmaceutical representative who dates a couple times a month says she can't imagine being attracted to a man more obsessed with his looks and his wardrobe than with his inner self. Rather than viewing this concern as a sign of respect for the ladies he dates, she views it as selfish.

"I don't think it has anything to do with women," she says. "I think it's ego. I wouldn't want to go out with a guy like that. What would you talk about? I mean, I don't talk about shopping -- unless you're talking about antiquing or something like that. But I don't do that with my women friends," either.

The feminist movement of the 1970s gave women the freedom to tap into more traditionally masculine roles. And today, pop culture vehicles -- including Bravo's watershed cable TV hit "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" -- offer men the freedom to sample attitudes and behaviors that may once have seemed less than manly. Those go beyond buying moisturizers and low-rise jeans and step into areas like yoga, cooking and interior design.

Filarski believes the gay community's growing acceptance within mainstream American culture "is probably what's starting to happen, and guys are going, "Hmmm -- Honey, can I do that? Get the pedicure and manicure and take better care of myself?' It's starting to intertwine and happen, and a hundred years from how, there won't be so much segmentation" between the sexes.

She and Williams think the popularity of reality-based TV shows also have played a role in the rise of the metrosexual male.

"If you look at reality TV, everyone looks fantastic," says Williams. "The women, nobody is over 130 pounds, everybody's 5-foot-8, the guys all have washboard abs, and people are saying, 'If this is reality, I'd better step up to the plate.' Nobody wants to feel 'less than.' "

While some of this may seem new to American men, it's not a foreign concept to other cultures. European men -- especially the French and Italians, who are known for having an almost innate sense of style -- often hail from societies that celebrate the well-put together male. Within some Latin American and African-American circles, men have traditionally been allowed to fuss over their personal grooming and dress without stepping out of bounds.

Williams and Allen don't mind guys inching onto their traditional female turf, but believe there's something to be said for gender differences.

"I like that we're opposites," says Allen. "That's what makes it interesting. I think we come from two totally different places, and no amount of grooming will change that."

Really, though -- who are we kidding? Straight men's methods may change, but the goal remains the same: to woo and win the chicas of their choice.

"Guys are doing whatever they can," says Williams, "to make themselves attractive to women."

As Michael Flocker, author of The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man says, "The term 'metrosexual' may have a shelf life, but this new awareness of style is permanent."

Maureen Jenkins is a local free-lance writer.