Since nobody else has applied for the job, I've decided to appoint myself as an FR "Whine Steward." I will rate the whines that get posted.
After all, many freepers are fans of a good whine, but tastes vary. Some freepers prefer a full-bodied whine from such noted producers as Michael Moore or Ted Kennedy. Others might prefer an aged red whine, which is primarily grown in the whineries around Berkeley and Ithaca.
The upshot is that 2004 is shaping up to be one of the great years for whines, on a par with 1994 and 2000.
I will be rating all the whines on a scale of one to five bottles. Five bottles represents a fine whine that can be shared with your friends for years. These are whines that should be sampled again in 2006 and 2008 so that we can all remember the kind of people responsible for marvelous whines.
One bottle means that the whine is flat. With a one-bottle whine, it's clear that something went wrong in creation. Perhaps the whiner spent too much time in the light of reason, thereby adding two much sweetness to the product.
Anyway, I will give this Beril-Liberal Times piece four bottles. Overall, this is a fine whine. The "Jesusland" reference adds a tangy suprising flavor that is becoming surprisingly popular. "Baba-Ganoush, I hate Bush" is a nice tart little phrase that is refreshingly distant from any logical argument. And most whiners won't be so honest as to use the term "Zionist pigs", although it's often buried in the flavor of many top whines.
I almost gave this whine the full five bottles, but I missed some common references. I didn't see accusatons about Bush being stupid or the stealing of the election and nobody is vowing to move overseas. Nevertheless, QuiMundus has found a delightful little whine from the great whine-producing region of New York City. He is to be commended.
Swirl that whine around the glass again, and you'll notice that Robert Redford has legs. He said he was moving to Ireland.