Posted on 11/05/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by iheartusa
There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster. The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think. However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know: Children are overrated. For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy. They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on. Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject. The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do". Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.
I decided not to have kids or a wife... And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45..... Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality. My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".
I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails. People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.
NoMarriage.com manual will help you determine if you are ready and want to have children in the near future.
What a beautiful thought.
Nice thinking.
What strikes me about the author is that he isn't able to discuss these musings with friends & family. What on earth possessed him to write this pitiful article. Reads like something you would discuss with a shrink (if you have no friends or family).
As Tom Daschle would say, "I am saddened".
Second thought!
Maybe he proposed and got turned down and he's rationalizing.
This guy who write this article was pretty severe, but I agree with much of what he said. I'm a very straight and very conservative guy, but I decided a long time ago never to have kids. I personally never wanted the problems, or the responsibilities that go with it. I don't hate kids, just don't really enjoy being around them. Plus I'm also almost 50 years old, and most people think I'm around 40. Not alot of stress that have added age lines to my face. For that alone I feel fortunate.
Also, when you don't have kids a lot of people get bent out of shape about it. They assume all kinds of things about you: you're a child-hater, you had a horrifying childhood, you're immature, you're selfish, and so on. People also demand to know why you don't have children, which if you think about it is slightly rude. I've had a lot of that.
Your attitude seems to be, "I don't want to have kids because, boy, they'd really interfere in my ability to please myself at every moment (ie fly off to Chicago on a whim).
There's really no reason to call me names.
Sorry I implied you were a b!^&ch previously.
Going back to my original post, I said:
"I think it's a shame that people jump onto the bandwagon of, "Let's please only ourselves and never do anything difficult because it's so much easier and FUN that way!" There is value in extending yourself for others. People of character do hard things and work through them. They see the reward is in the process of learning and growing."
I thought I had made it clear that the "let's always have fun" attitude is what bugs me. I think it is too bad that so many people take the "fun path" instead of having to put themselves out for others. We're growing a whole lot of shallow people who, ultimately, cannot be counted on for much. Rather like many of those who'd run off to Canada in a moments notice instead of fighting. Not much fun there.
I think it is too bad that so many people take the "fun path" instead of having to put themselves out for others. We're growing a whole lot of shallow people who, ultimately, cannot be counted on for much.
it really changes everything, particularly ones perspective as to what is valuable/important and what is not.
Yes, I am holding a gun to your head and forcing you to impregnate the next woman you see! LOL! Get over yourself.
In my original post I went out of my way to make exceptions and say explicitly that not all people who don't have children are selfish and not all people who do have children are wonderful. If you want to assume I am bashing you, have fun.
Speaking of kids, went out with my mom and the boys last night to a buffet place. We were standing in line to get in behind this huge group of people. I thought it was some church group or maybe a group from Boy Scouts as one of the boys had on his uniform. Well come to find out it was ONE family. Nine boys all in a row and two little girls--one about two or three and one just a baby. Anyway, the lady seating us put us right next to this family and they seemed very well behaved I might add except for one of the older boys who was making toothpicks pop out all over the floor while we were standing in line to get in.
So we are sitting there and we get a good look at the mom and she is sticking out again--rubbing her belly. Her baby girl must have been about 9 months I would say and the one in her belly was probably about 7 months along. So number 12 was on the way. We wondered what kind of vehicle they must have come in. I told my mom we didn't even know if they had a couple older ones at college or something.
Things I've learned from my children:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
But I guess it's ok that his parents decided to have kids! LOL Selfish dude!!
ping
Rotten brat?!
Only problem is, in order to "grow up," we need to have children.
No, because this guy has what I call the "opera syndrome."
You see some people don't like opera. And because they have no idea why someone else would like opera they posit all manner of sneering, demeaning reasons why a poseur would pretend to like opera. The one thing that never enters there narrow, solipsistic little minds is that some people like opera just because they like opera.
This clown simply can not fathom how someone else could not be so self-absorbed as to have their "script" altered without resenting it.
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