Posted on 11/01/2004 2:08:11 AM PST by Cableguy
Tonight, I want to help you wishy-washy Americans who haven't decided yet who to vote for Tuesday. Let me talk to you about both candidates. People decide who to vote for for some pretty silly reasons, I know that.
Take what they look like, for example. Both Bush and Kerry are probably better looking than you are, so there's not much for you to choose between there.
Now, if you like tall, Kerry is taller.
The president looks like a nice, average, ordinary guy, and that's good.
He isn't nice, average and ordinary but that's what he looks like.
Sen. Kerry, on the other hand, doesn't seem nice, average and ordinary. He's probably not much fun at a party, but he doesn't want to go to the party. He wants to go to the White House.
The president wins when it comes to brains. People like a candidate who doesn't seem to have too many, sometimes, because it reminds them of themselves.
Sen. Kerry, on the other hand, does seem too smart sometimes.
President Bush is for the death penalty. John Kerry is against the death penalty - except for geese.
Bush accuses Kerry of changing his mind. But Kerry has always been a Catholic. The president started as an Episcopalian, then he joined the Presbyterian Church and now he's a Methodist.
Religion is a factor in this election. There are 65 million Catholics and only eight million Methodists. Methodists are Protestant, though, and there are 150 million Protestants. A lot of Protestants would never vote for any Catholic. Forget John Kerry. They wouldn't vote for the pope if he was running.
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
John Kerry, on the other hand, says he wants to improve the financial status of what he calls "middle class Americans." "Middle class" for him means they don't belong to a country club.
So that's it, you undecideds. Decide, for goodness' sake.
I'm Andy Rooney and I approved of this message.
CBS is a troll and should be treated (disregarded) as such.
Remember, replying to the trolls only entices them on. Ignore them and they go away.
dung.
Ahhhh, Blandy Looney; senile old mentally-ill fart. Sure America, listen to this butt-wipe scumbag, and you'll do just fine.
Not very hard to be tall when your face is practically longer than your legs.
"Let me talk to you about both candidates"
Please spare us.
This man is sickening.
"Andy Rooney: Please Choose (takes shots at both Bush and Kerry)"
Seems too me the only shots taken were towards Bush. I wonder if he swayed any of his 12 viewers?
Andy Rooney is one the many member's of the media's "Axis of Evil".
You call this even? It was so anti-Bush - typical CBS. Andy Rooney is an evil old man! My husband and I are giving up CBS entirely, even for our football team! I wish everyone else would boycott them too!
He takes a few real jabs at Bush. His "shots" at Kerry are that he's too tall, too smart, and too rich.
Not even-handed at all, but who would expect otherwise from one of CBS's court jesters?
Anything from this Looney is a form of abuse, please don't bother to repeat.
Profile of Rooney: thinks he's cute, but isn't; exaggerated reputation as a curmugeon; past his shelf life.
This old coot is almost as senile as Cronkite. How did they both manage to get out of the day room?
"Religion is a factor in this election. There are 65 million Catholics and only eight million Methodists. Methodists are Protestant, though, and there are 150 million Protestants. A lot of Protestants would never vote for any Catholic. Forget John Kerry. They wouldn't vote for the pope if he was running."
Kerry is a "CINO"(Catholic In Name Only). Many Catholics will be voting for Bush(I am one of them) because Kerry is pro-abortion. The claim of worrying about the pope running our country if a catholic is elected is so outdated. I hope some day a Catholic Republican makes headway as president so the press can take up this bigoted viewpoint.
Actually, in looking real close at both Bush and Kerry
together in the last debate - I factored in Kerry's wig
(or fluffy hairdo whichever it is) and that added about an
inch and half, then I factored in those custom made shoes
with the good arch supports and thick soles compared to
President Bush's tendency to shower and go (not fluff up
hair) and to wear the flat-soled shoes, there's really not
all that much of a height difference. Not near as much as
Kerry likes to say it is.
We have not watched CBS, ABC, CNN, or any other main-stream news in over 5 years.
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