Is Bush Like, Stupid, or What? (irony alert)

Headcrash Central ^ | 10/25/04 | Bruce Bethke

[Lucretia Borgia]

So I'm in the local Blockbuster the other night, returning some DVDs. It was a slow night, and the clerks were ignoring me and talking with each other while I was popping open cases and making sure my kids had put the right discs back in the right boxes. As I snapped the last case shut and dropped it down the return chute, I began to pay some minor attention to the clerks' conversation, and that is when I heard one of them utter the most absolutely amazing statement:

"No, dude, I cannot vote for George Bush, 'cause, like, I am so much smarter than him."

This, I must admit, caused a moment of sheer stunned silence on my part. I wondered: should I just shake my head and go off to look at the new releases? Bite my tongue and quietly leave the store? Or should I slap that little turd down without the slightest hint of mercy?

"Ah, I see. You're smarter than a Harvard MBA. That must be why you're a fat, pimply guy with a greasy pony-tail who works for minimum wage at Blockbuster."

Maybe I should have done that. Maybe it was a teachable moment. But I've worked in education, and I've been a TA, and I have found that the Socratic method is completely wasted on people who are beyond irony. So, at that moment, I chose to take a deep breath, shake my head, and wander off, to mind my own business.

But the moment has stayed with me, for several days now, and I've continued to wonder: just why do liberals insist on characterizing President Bush as being stupid? After all, the man flew supersonic jet fighters for the Texas Air National Guard. He received an MBA from Harvard. While I've met a few arrogant gonzo lunatic fighter jocks, and more than a few ethically repellent MBAs, I have yet to meet one of either group that I would consider "stupid."

No, the more I think about it, the more firmly I come to believe that the real problem lies in the nature of modern liberalism. It must be hard to be a liberal these days; there is so little ammunition left in the can. You see, as nearly as I can determine it, the key reason why liberals insist on calling President Bush "stupid" is that that is the only insult they have left. Any other perjorative term they might use could offend an important liberal constituency. I mean, before they could even start to think about calling him, say --

-- an amoral skirt-chasing, commie-loving, draft-dodging, race-baiting, baby-killing, bribe-taking, pill-popping, coke-snorting, pot-smoking, crack-smoking, pole-smoking, boy-buggering, lesbian-licking, sheep-sodomizing, promiscuity-promoting, ambulance-chasing, morbidly obese America-hating alcoholic traitor --

-- why, they'd have to repudiate John Kennedy, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, John Kerry, John Edwards, Barney Frank, George McGovern, Jimmy Carter, Jesse Jackson, NARAL, NOW, PETA, and NAMBLA, just for starters.

So, like I said, the painfully circumscribed vocabulary for invective that is permitted to modern liberals --

Why, it's almost enough to make you feel sorry for the poor dumb bastards.

[PowerPro]

bump

[OKIEDOC]

Funny. I sent it to all my Kerry supporting friends in South America. Who thank God can not vote in our elections.

[Docbarleypop]

actually i think you are right about the pie as other things.

[RJL]

Bump

[Ahab the Arab]

I have a work order to create 30 new unix logins, even though we just laid off 300 of the 800 employees at the St. Paul, MN location. Here is a sample of the new logins I have to add...

Balaji
Ramakrishnan
Bhuvaneswari
Mallikarjuna
Bashyam
Rajan
Sadhasivam

The problem is that the Chris, Tom, Linda, and Melissa's that I am removing were spending their paychecks in the good old US of A. I just hope that none of the people on the list plan on signing up for flying lessons any time soon.