Posted on 09/23/2004 7:04:45 PM PDT by SLB
She lives in a small town in Tennessee, or in a subdivision in North Carolina, or on a ranch in Montana .
She may be 15. Or, she may have graduated from college. Either way, the odds are no boy has ever paid much attention to her. She may wonder if she will ever get married. She is lonely.
What’s her problem? The answer is simple: She is different.
She doesn’t particularly like being different. She may tell you that she doesn’t care; but she does.
Her peers think she is a snob. Her mom says the reason other girls don’t want to be around her is because they are jealous. That doesn’t help much. So she tries to be friendly and kind but that doesn’t help much, either. She may be shunned by other girls and ignored by boys.
She is different. And who wants to be different? Nobody likes others who are different and nobody likes being different.
I have met hundreds of homeschooled girls like this around the world. Each girl thinks she is the only one who is having these experiences. But, there are thousands just like her. If they ever find one another, there would be a huge group hug. And, yes, probably lots of tears. They would finally have found others like themselves who aren’t interested in what girls normally think or talk about. Their talk wouldn’t center around boys or movies or how stupid some other girl is. They would talk about their families and about what interests them and about God and about Jesus. They would pray together and for one another.
That girl from Tennessee who is 15. She’s actually 15 going on 21. She seems to have skipped the teenage years altogether. The girl who has graduated from college without meeting her future husband has been told many times not to worry. “Mister right” is just waiting somewhere in the future. She struggles to believe it and to trust God for her future family.
These girls are different. Not because they wear Christian hairdos or clothing. It really has little to do with externals. But it has everything to do with their Father and what He has done inside them. They are just different, whether they like being different or not. Everyone can tell.
One day I was trying to understand this regarding a young girl who was a friend of my son. All at once the Lord showed me a kind of vision about this girl. Here’s what I saw:
The girl was in her Baptist Sunday school class. All the kids were sitting in a circle. Just then I saw Jesus open the door to the room. He walked directly to this girl and held out His hand to her. She took His hand and got up from her chair. Then Jesus took her out of the class and closed the door. I understood Him to be saying, “This girl doesn’t belong in the same way other people belong. I have made her exclusively Mine.”
I knew this didn’t mean she would never have a family or always be by herself. But the Lord made me understand that He is using the home schooling movement because it is the easiest context in which to raise young people who can be truly “different.”
Why do I keep using the word, “Different”? It is because of the origin of that word. The word “different” is the most exact translation of the Greek work, HOLY (hagios). These kids are different in that the Lord has placed in them something which makes them holy unto Him. They are not really trying to be this way. It’s something He has done. He has separated them from the kind of things normal young people find important. They may struggle with what God has done. They may be terribly lonely. But they ARE different and it is the work of God, Himself.
It is not easy to encourage these girls. Loneliness is no fun and being different can be a real bummer, too. Telling someone to “have faith” can sound pretty shallow, even though it’s the truth. The girl who graduated from college and never had a boy who was a friend ended up meeting “the man of God” she had always dreamed about. They are married now. Another is still waiting, praying for faith to believe it will all turn out as her heart hopes it will.
This is a holy generation. It is a generation set apart unto Him. It is a generation of young people the world has not seen in so long it doesn’t remember what real holiness looks like. The purposes of God rest on our children being willing to walk “in the world” but, at the same time, separated from it. The world waits for a people to show them that a relationship with Jesus isn’t a religious put-on, but is worth giving their lives to, too.
Our girls have been created by the Lord to show everyone what the Bride of Christ looks like, sounds like, acts like, believes like. It can be a burden, but it is precious. We need to deeply respect our girls for what they have been called to be. They need to be encouraged to understand who they are to a world (and, yes, even to a Church) who desperately needs to see the kind of “Lady” Jesus is returning for. We need to give them a vision for who they are that is deeper than simply saying to them, “the other girls are jealous of you.”
Yeah, the church! Who'da thunk it. Is this article stereotyping in some subtle underhanded way?
While I agree with you that many homeschooled children are that far above, there are also children in public school doing the same or better.
My daughter tested with a 95 at the 4th grade level for reading when she finished kindergarten in June.
I acknowlege that much of that is because of how daddy and I do things at home, however it not only is possible but does occur. A combination of regular school and parental involvement can and does make a difference.
Absolutely right.
Homeschooling, in the hands of good, loving, hard-working parents can really work. I'm where I'm at because of it. But there are exceptions -- and they are rare -- where homeschooling is nothing but a cover for negligence, or even abuse.
This is why -- and this is an unpopular sentiment amongst some homeschoolers -- I firmly support the local school districts checking up on homeschooled kids.
Don't know about stereotyping but it has to be annoying the liberals.
"so I will never again give a blanket approval to home schoolers."
I'm curious, do you give blanket approval to public schoolers? You could say the same thing there which you've said about homeschoolers -- a public school education is only as good as the school in which it takes place.
You're going to find disappointing experiences in either place. Odds are, however, you'll find far fewer problems in the homeschool environment; as time goes on this is increasingly backed by hard data.
With best wishes --
I'll bet money that FReeper's kids are in the upper percentiles in most subjects.
And of course, this has never happened to a public school kid. >/sarcasm off
And I firmly support the local school districts mind their own business. I am insulted that some petty bureaucrat (a total stranger no less) feels the need to approve the raising of my family.
Well, it does seem to be giving short shrift to the "BODY" of Christ concept, as if leaving the world's side means going off into a vacuum. The church isn't supposed to be a herd of cats.
And why, sir or madam, do they not go checking into themselves at least as vigorously? That would be much more fertile ground for finding trouble, if the numbers hold good. I think this new law school of yours is turning your brain into a mindless liberal.
I don't agree with isolationism either. I get that impression from reading some folks' materials, and I do have a bit of that attitude myself. It's unfortunate, but I do think most parents get into homeschooling out of genuine concern for their children.
I'm not going to take that bet - because I agree with you.
Odds are, however, you'll find far fewer problems in the homeschool environment; as time goes on this is increasingly backed by hard data.
Right on!
Loving one another is supposed to witness to the world of the love of Christ. This isn't accomplished by a plethora of individual pilgrims each on a journey of one. There's a kind of masked pride in that sort of approach (IMHO).
Um... this article is insanely depressing, IMO. This is basically the stereotype I've been fighting for years... the girls I know who fit this little pattern are married or engaged. I'm the one who doesn't fit in - in homeschool circles because I was too into science, fantasy, that sort of thing.
Sure, it can and does happen in public schools. THe sheer volume of students educated in public schools practically guarantees it will happen. But there are mechanisms in place, in most cases, to catch 'em.
The consequences of child abuse are horrific. Your should see the baggage these kids have. I worked with kids this summer whose parents were their abusers. One of them acutally did keep their kid from school so they could "punish" them. Really.
I have no problem with responsible parents teaching their kids as they see fit. But some people, by what they did to their kids, have invalidated their rights to be parents. The school districts are the ones best situated to prevent homeschooling from being used as a cover for them.
At the very least you can say they are no worse off than a public education (or lack thereof). I have to agree with your overarching point. I only know of one instance personally, but it was equally as sad. The two boys were in a broken home with a mother who kept them there for her own emotional security. The real shame (these boys not knowing how to read) was that the mother would coach them on how to "fake it" and/or dodge questions and inspection. But in the end it is also a fact that the public school system pumps out a shamefull percentage of these type of kids yearly. With homeschoolers it is a true anomaly. My wife does an outstanding job homeschooling with our kids. I'm proud of them and they are very bright. I have only optimism for their future success and thank Heavenly Father for such a wonderful wife and that he continues to bless us that the sacrifices we make to help our children in this way truly become light when tied to the yoke of Jesus Christ.
lol Someone on this T-shirt needs to be carrying a shotgun for a little realism.
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