Posted on 09/23/2004 6:56:30 AM PDT by jacksonstate
Will be a long hard struggle but I have had 50% custody for about six months now. When I was granted 50% their Mom just could not stand that and when I enrolled them in school here locally( judges orders ) she tried her best to work the kids against me. She had them believeing that it was me that wanted the divorce. I did file but only after she kicked me out and told me she had had an affair. My kid's do not know that and I am not going to tell them.
Was she like this when you married her, or did you make her this way?
congrats. welcome to the world's smallest club.I'm in it ,too.
My stepson was awarded custody of his children last week. But it took 4 long years and tons of money, and lots of prayers and support from ALL OF HIS FAMILY. And it is not over yet. The children's mother is a legal abuser and will, I am sure, continue her legal harassment.
We hear she is going to appeal the custody ruling. The good judge tried to make everything as air-tight as possible -- he said he was going to try to make sure there was no reason for an appeal. We shall see.
Journals are absolutely a must....you nailed it.
Back in the late 70s my wife sued for divorce after having an affair with a recently released rapist. During our lengthy separation she screwed up mightily. She bounced checks, got a DUI, stopped paying her bills (new ones, I of course was responsible for all the old ones). She moved 4 times in 6 months (4 new schools for my oldest daughter in 2nd grade).
One day I picked up the kids and when changing the diaper of my youngest daughter (11 months) noticed red strap marks. I immediately called the wife and asked her how they got there. She denied any knowledge but my oldest daughter said "Gonzo" (the boyfriends name) spanked her.
I called my lawyer and told him I didn't care what he did, but I wasn't going to return the kids at the end of the weekend. We went to court Monday morning and got an emergency custody order.
3 months went by and we built a very strong case for the final custody hearing. My wife's self destructive behavior helped out when 1 week prior to the hearing she was fired from her job for coming back from lunch drunk.
Despite all that my lawyer told me the morning of the hearing that all my wife had to do was start crying on the stand, admit her mistakes and promise not to screw up again and the judge would give her custody.
Fortunately for me, the ex had other ideas. She didn't have a job and wanted alimony (no alimony in Texas). I agreed to not only not ask for child support for our 2 children but to give her $400 a month for 1 year. I considered it a bargain.
30 years later, my oldest daughter is finishing up her PHD at Yale, my youngest daughter is a very successful real estate agent specializing in multi-million dollar homes in Houston. My ex-wife lives in subsidized housing and subsists on disability and law-suit settlements against previous employers.
Congratulations on your success.
Congrats!!!
From a single father of 3 boys I give you all my support. I fought for 3+ years to get custody. It even happened in liberal RI. Of course, the judge gave my ex many chances to change (3 years worth) while I did everything they asked. It seemed to take forever but it has been well worth it.
I'm glad to hear that you don't trash your ex to the kids. As far as my kids know my ex and I just couldn't get along. They know nothing about her drug use, lies, false police reports, stolen money, many "uncles" living with her etc etc etc LOL
Just live each day the best you can and love your kids.
That will show 'em who the best parent is!
I slept well last night!
What on earth were you thinking when you married this loser moron and impregnated her?
My kid's have never met anyone I have dated nor will they till I know it is forever!
My X made the mistake of having her men in my kid's life. She dated my daughters soccer coach and had him in the house. She was an internet personals junkie and used my daughter email to acces her personals. She met a guy out of state online and the next week he was staying all night with her and the kid's.
Actually, I'll consider it. He was an idiot when he married her. I'll also consider his judgment when he finally leaves the wench. He wised up.
My ex-husband owed a huge amount in back child support. He also had a history of molesting his daughter from a previous marriage. I gladly traded the back child support for sole custody and supervised visitation for him (which he never excercised). You're right, it was indeed a bargain.
I am SO happy for you!!! :D
jhouston,
I have been asking myself that for a long time now!
Honestly I belive she developed some type of disorder over the years. We were married 11yrs and she seemed to get worse with time. She eventually got on meds for depression which did not help. I was shocked and so were a lot of my friends and her family.
From one Father to another, good job and congrats.
I have been thru it the last couple of weeks. My X took my kid's out of state and took them to her boyfriends in TN and when I called the school and they had not shown up and she had not called in an excuse I called her and told her to get the kid's back so she went and got an epo(emergency protection order ) against me which was later dropped because she did not show up and the judge deemed the accusations false.
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