My earlier reply was taken from what I learned from My Rabbi Daniel Lapin which is based an his study of Jewish law, not exactly a feminist source.
Your rabbi is Daniel Lapin? cooooolll.
OK, I'm back.
I think you've selectively heard him. LIke I've said, "not total nonsense," but the portion of the truth which you've taken, out of any context, is the same portion which fuels Marxist feminism, which did not emerge from a vacuum.
The acceptance of penetration is psychologically an act of submission. Much of modern sexuality is designed to desensitize women to that fact or, in the case of Lesbianism, flee it. But you present that fact in isolation.
Let's put sex back in its context: sex makes babies. Women remain vulnerable while they are pregnant and for whatever period of time that they emphasize nurturing the baby over pursuing their own lives. Even at its most animalistic, human relationships rely on trust. In sexuality, the woman yields power to a man, trusting he will not abuse her. Receiving pleasure through penetration symbolizes this trust. THe fact that it may be initially painful only emphasizes the significance of that trust.