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But the truth is that these women suffer enormously. I have had many women crying in my office as they related the pain of discovering that they could never be attractive to their husbands, and how that horrible fact undermined their very identity as women. One woman told me that after her husband had revealed to her that he was only able to perform with her sexually by thinking about men, she had thought that night of killing herself.

As for the 2nd Mrs. McGreevey, though, I'm somewhat skeptical. Supposedly her husband's dalliances were well known during his first marriage.

I have a female friend who found out that a male high school friend of hers (her prom date, actually) was gay. They had remainded friendly through their 20s and 30s and she was quite upset when he announced his "coming out" to her.
Back in high school I was seeing a boy that a lot of the girls I knew thought was so cute and slightly chastised me when broke up with him. At the time I couldn't understand why I did it, either. I just had the weirdest feeling that something was not quite right with him. A year later rumors (that turned out to be true) were going around that he was homosexual.