I thought that Alan Colmes was the Crypt Keeper...
Isn't that the name of the show? "Hannity & Crypt Keeper"?
I don't think there is one Crypt Keeper, kinda like how at Christmas time there isn't one Santa. The Crypt-Keeping Americans are a federally-protected minority, and we will get in trouble if we keep mocking their Crypt-Keeper-ness. :)
I can see Jesse and Al on the stump now...another minority group to shakedown...errrr, protect...
"Keep Crypt-Keepers alive! Crypt-Keepers are on the way! Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! Lemonade! D-CON! 4-GONE!"
/extreme sarcasm, but I really don't want to end it...