Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
Ya know, those triplets are a real burden. Giving birth to them should be left to "trailer trash. You know, like those slutty broads who don't abort their children because they're an inconvenience to their accustomed lifestyle and all. Excuse me ladies, but I have a pedicure appointment to go to. Tootles!
She shouldn't have any children. How sickening.
This article needs to be read out loud at the Republican convention. Prime time. Hang them with their own words...
The murdering witch should of thought of that when she went off the pill and still had her legs spread open. First she should of thought of getting married. How selfish of her to try and raise a child without a family core. Simple selfishness.
Then she has the gall to kill 2 perfectly health fetuses, what a disgusting example of the human race. She should of put herself in the position of each of those unborn children moments before they were murdered for the sake of liberal convenience.
I have no tolerance for people like this. Always wanting children, yet unwilling to give up an ounce for the innocent child. Cold hearted bitch. She visions herself as being so important that she can not give up flying for a few months, or lecturing to the other rubber spined "Kill the fetus, not the cow" crowd.
I hope she feels like hell is on her heels for the rest of her life.
BTTT
Non-weekend surfers need to see this article...
And yet, one of the stated reasons she went through with this "procedure" was to be saved from "trauma."
Why the hell would she, unless she likes killing innocent unborn babies. She should of just kept the other 2 that she murdered. In her eyes it is just water under the bridge. For a normal human, it is 2 of God's miracles killed by an irresponsible segment of society who was entrusted by God himself to do the right thing.
She thinks pregnancy is a burden, an accident, a hassle, a sickness, confining, career- and life-ending, traumatic and terrifying.
Wacked.
Did you know that the modern Hippocratic Oath taken by doctors at our medical schools is edited? The original oath included, "I will not give to a woman a pessary to produce abortion". Needless to say, that no longer applies.
Amy's choice--just like removing a toe nail or a tonsil to this cold hearted, selfish bitch. So sorry the little babies were in her womb. For the life of me, I don't understand how someone can see the heartbeats on the screen and still go on with the killing. I sometimes feel bad when I kill a bug. No way in heck I could snuff out a little human being. I don't know how she looks at the little boy she kept. How can she love him? If he had been number two and three, he could have been sucked out too. This woman is just so disgusting on some many fronts I don't know where to begin; unfortunately, it's typical of many's mentality today.
a rat is a dog is a pig is a feminist (with profound apologies to rats, dogs and pigs)...
This is a sick, evil monster, the vile spawn of FemiNazism.
The more I think about the guy, the more I don't think he can be excused in any way, shape or form. We don't know the whole story, but couldn't he have begged her to keep them? Couldn't he have promised her the moon if she would give birth to his children? When she refused, couldn't he have said, "I can't stop you, but I won't participate in the murder of my own children?" I just don't see where he gets off as being a sympathetic character. A real man would have acted so much differently. I think it's even WORSE that he went along with it--supported her is the PC phrase--because he was at least subliminally aware that the triplets were living beings. But who wins in the tug-of-war with the abortionist and mother on one side and the tiny babies and lily-livered wimp on the other?
It's almost as if that bit about the vacillating boyfriend was included to illustrate the strength of her resolve and her absolute authority and autonomy.
Of course she is not married and the donor boyfriend seems like an after thought as far as any say in the matter. Maybe it's wrong to speculate about the man in this situation, but I'm guessing he is a feminized male.
Very good analysis. Also, the bit about her being raised by just her mom and not missing having a dad--another dig at the donor. His presence and opinions and say are not needed. He provided the sperm and he'll have to provide the financial payments. I can't say I feel too sorry for him though except for the fact that he was probably indoctrinated for a long time to believe that this was his role or lack of role in the world.
Ping--a "choice" testamonial from a cold hearted feminazi.
My wife had a tubal,the day after giving birth to our son in December 03.She's 15 weeks pregnant with our third.
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