Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
YOU ALREADY HAD TWINS AND YOU KILLED THEM!
The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
It seems like Peter wanted all three of his kids, but could not stand up to Amy so capitulated. No character.
Of course the Dr. wouldn't let Peter stay. They would hide the tiny little human bodies from the Mmother but if the father was there he could see them and have to face what he allowed. Two of his Children MURDERED.
Heart beats, and a big enough brain to stick the needle of death into. Sick
...and buying big jars of mayonnaise...
Let's see here. Hmmmmmm, the convenience of small jars of mayonnaise and killing two of my children, or big jars of mayonnaise and having three kids...somehow that made sense to her...
What a difficult choice for a person with a seared conscience.
I think she took fertility drugs, then LIED about it to her doctor when things went awry.
And what's wrong with big jars of mayo anyway? I have 5 big jars in my pantry right now. Great for sandwiches, potato salad, and creamy salad dressing.
Seriously, what do you suppose the Times was thinking exposing this terrible saga to the light of day?
From post #84:
If abortion were connected to actual women--people like my friend Amy Richards, who had an abortion at 18 and a selective reduction last year when she found she was pregnant with triplets, or Nancy Flynn, who was a single mom finishing her BA at Cornell when she had an abortion and who told me she would "never have been able to have the rich life I've had and help my son as much as I have if I'd been the single mother of two children"--perhaps the mounting restrictions wouldn't pass so handily.
They actually believe they are helping the cause with this.
The ho even has an "Ask Amy" website so she can dispense her child sacrificing evil to the unsuspecting masses.
"This fall, Third Wave, in partnership with Active Element Foundation, Resource Generation and the Tides Foundation, will sponsor the fourth annual Making Money Make Change conference. From November 2-4 in Santa Cruz, CA, more than 60 young people of wealth will converge to discuss how to support progressive social change through philanthropy."
=== May God have Mercy on them.
.... And lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy.
This is why "they" are wrong.
"Choice" is a euphemism for killing.
Oh, don't be so hard on her, one "accesory" was plenty(sarcasm off)
"I desperately wanted identical twins when I was pregnant."
So did I, or triplets....sigh.
BTW, I wonder if we are seeing the face of someone who would kill a baby in the final trimester? After all, what if she got pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes and was put on bedrest? Guess she'd have a "partial birth abortion" if it interfered with her plans of a perfect pregnancy. This person is so selfish and ill-prepared to raise another human being to adulthood.
Maybe someone should ask her a question. How about, "I recently (within the last few weeks) had a child, but it's just too big an inconvenience. I'm thinking about killing it so I can get back to the things I love: flying and consuming mayonnaise in small quantities. What do you think?"
I agree with you. To be blessed with 3 at once? And then eliminate 2 of them? It took me 3 long hard pregnancies with progressively worsening health after to get my 3 beautiful children. I can not imagine being blessed that many times in one sitting and rejected such a blessing.
So ... the lesson to be learned is ......??
If you're unmarried and you don't want children, don't be sleeping around!! I'd like to know if she ever plans to tell the one child that she was saved but the other 2 were killed.
And .. the identical twins .. maybe one of them would have been a brilliant scientist who would have cured millions of people from a terrible disease.
Hey, no offense from this woman. I had 3 difficult pregnancies and I'm glad all 3 of my children are here and that includes a child that is disabled in the mix. I just can not conceive of it. I can see how as selfish sinful creatures(all of us) we would consider our convenience over an innocent life,but to go through with it and justify it in the terms she did(God forbid she have to shop in Cosco with 3 little ones at her heals--like you said--OH, the humanity!).
There are no words.
I hope you rot in hell you murdering POS, where you can hear the voice of your dead baby continually asking you why you killed him...forever...and ever.....
We'll see how PC the mods are by how fast this is removed]
AskAmy@feminist.com
Maybe she condensed the conversation to meet her required number of words in the article. I seriously doubt it was no more complex than that. Besides - men really don't have much power in decisions like this. At least he wasn't the one who wanted to "get rid of" the babies. Can't you give him credit for that?
Should Hitler be given credit for not wanting to exterminate 6 million Jews? The "Final Solution" was Eichmann's idea after all.
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