COMBAT BOOTS!
Okay, you are an Iranian woman, living in a community where honor killings for adultry are common. Your husband arrives home from work at the bomb factory one day and you jump out of bed nekkid. There in the bed is a frog you have been intimate with for the past several months. You have to come up with a story. Hubby has his hand on the detonator. So you say, "Um, um, OMG, I just gave birth to that thing!"
Lame as it is, it saves your life.
"There in the bed is a frog you have been intimate with for the past several months."
Reminds me of the joke about the drop dead gorgeous woman out with a man so ugly he made M. Moore look like a human.
When asked what she saw in him. She retorted: "Bless his soul, He may not look like much but he can lick his eyebrows.