I can well identify with that, in a way.
My own birthday, as well as Christmas have, for some reason almost always been fraught with pain and at least serious disappointment.
So much so, that when married, I tried to just mostly ignore my own birthday except on it to buy my wife something special. It truly was more blessed, to me, to give, than receive.
Anyway--if you ever need a soul to commiserate with on a holiday, give me a ping!
Shoot me and 17 will be down to Texas to visit then ;)